like Malachi would be called? But he wasn’t badass. And drinking too much and being careless with people and possessions wouldn’t make him so.
“I didn’t know I’d want this.” He ground the heel of his hand into the ache in his temple. “I like having a family, L. My own family. How was I supposed to know how good it would feel, when I’d never had one like this before?”
“You weren’t. You couldn’t.” She sat forward and slid her arm around his shoulders. “You have no reason to beat yourself up for that. Your mom and dad and me—we all gave you horrible examples. You did the best you could with what you had available.”
His eyes were so dry that they burned. He’d cried after the phone call with his dad. He’d sat right on the fucking floor and buried his head in his hands, knowing full well he wasn’t going to have enough balls to be honest. The idea of spelling everything out to Chloe and facing the repercussions—fuck, he wasn’t man enough.
Would he ever be man enough to deserve them?
“I don’t want to lose her,” he said hoarsely. “He keeps telling me that I’m lucky to have a loophole, but it’s not a loophole. He searched for a way so his money wouldn’t be on the hook, and because I was drunk enough to get married to a near stranger, I was also drunk enough not to seal the deal.”
Lila rubbed his back, just like she had when he was twelve and pissed about getting cut from the JV football team. “You know that statement doesn’t make any sense.”
“I do.”
“But I still understand it.”
He turned his head and smiled. “Because you’re my mom.”
Her eyes sheened and he held up a hand. “Don’t. Do not cry, especially not because I’ve been a jerk to you for so long and now you think I’ve seen the light. I always saw it when it comes to you. You were the only good thing that came out of my father’s relationships. The only thing,” he repeated over the soft snick of the door opening. Ryan must be back from the café already. “Even when I hated them, I loved you.”
Lila didn’t respond. Probably some sort of mom sense made her turn around and drop her arm from his back. But it was too late.
Not because Chloe—and he knew it had to be Chloe, because he smelled her, for fuck’s sake—had witnessed something she shouldn’t. But he’d ripped the lid off his emotions, and the truth was right there, staring him in the face. He couldn’t tuck it away and pretend. He loved her too much, and she deserved honesty.
She deserved for him to grow up and be the man he’d never been capable of being before this very fucking second.
“Can you leave us alone?” he asked Lila. The rest of the band had scattered before their break, so for the next few minutes, he and Chloe would have studio B to themselves.
Handy that the walls were soundproof.
“Sure. Of course.” Lila rose and clasped her iPad to her chest, facing Chloe over the back of the sofa.
He still hadn’t looked yet. He couldn’t.
“Whatever you think you heard, you didn’t.” Michael shut his eyes. Chloe’s expression must have been every bit as stricken as he’d feared. “He’s my son.”
Chloe didn’t reply for so long that he pressed his fist into his forehead. If the whole Lila thing raised its head again—
“I know that.” Chloe’s soft, certain voice made him drop his fist. “He explained how things are between you, and I believe him.”
Michael shifted to face her, but she wasn’t gazing his way. Her focus was solely on Lila.
“I also know you’re not happy about us being together, and as a mother myself, I understand why you’d be concerned. You think I’m a gold digger.”
Lila squared her shoulders. “No, I do not. I had my doubts, yes. I worried he wouldn’t make a good choice. Now I see in you a maturity I didn’t have at your age, and probably not even two years ago.” She let out a huff of laughter. “You don’t need my interference. You’re both doing just fine.”
Chloe didn’t say anything. She’d probably been struck mute, just like Michael.
“I’ll make sure the band doesn’t come back in until you’re through. Take your time.” Lila squeezed Michael’s shoulder, then left them alone.
The door closing behind her was like a starting gun going off. Both he and Chloe tried to speak at