bad for them. Because he had, and he was sick and tired of apologizing for it. Especially to himself.
Better yet, he’d fallen in love with Axl too. That had taken longer, probably due to the heap of fear that accompanied many of his interactions with Chloe’s baby. Still, he was getting there. He could figure it out. Other guys had, and he would too. All he needed was time.
“Michael.”
He pushed another spoonful of his now soggy oatmeal between his lips, chewed, and swallowed. Anything to give himself another second so everything he felt wouldn’t be written in chalk paint on his face.
Hey, I love you. I love your son. Please give me a chance to get this right. Just don’t go.
Forcing down the last of his oatmeal, he turned to face her. She’d changed out of her pajamas and now wore jeans and a thermal top. Her hair was in a bouncy ponytail and she wore the scantest amount of makeup.
He’d never seen anyone more beautiful.
“Hey,” he said, putting his bowl on the table. The spoon clattered against the stoneware. Chloe had bought the bowls, a whole matching set of them. She thought he should have sets of things. Dishes, towels, socks. He was starting to agree.
Sets weren’t half fucking bad.
“Hey.” She gripped the back of one of the chairs. “Axl’s playing in his room. I can’t be long.”
“We should get another one of those baby monitors. Sucks the other one broke.”
“Yes. They’re very handy. Not a good idea to turn your back on an almost two-year-old for a second. Did you mean it?”
Her rush of words nearly pushed him off-guard. She’d lulled him into a sense of complacency with the banal talk, then asked him the biggest question of his life.
“Yes.” There was no hesitation. “I think of myself as his father. I know I’m not. I know you don’t think of me that way either, but in my head, in here,” he rubbed his fist over his chest then dropped his hand, feeling like a chump, “I do. And I can’t stop it or slow it down. I don’t want to.”
She released a shuddery breath. “You know we’re asking for trouble here.”
“I know I was in trouble before you came into my world. But this? This is the sanest I’ve ever been. All I’m asking for is something I never got, and never realized how much I craved it. A real home and family. Something that wasn’t created out of money or convenience or social standing.”
“Not created out of convenience?” She laughed, almost hysterically. “We wouldn’t even be standing here if we hadn’t gotten loaded and made out at a club.”
“You’re right. We wouldn’t be, and I would’ve missed out the best thing in my life. So you know, go alcohol.” He skirted the table and walked over to her, taking her cold hands in his. “The way we started was crazy. But the rest of us isn’t. Not at the core.”
“You’re just trying to make up for something in your childhood,” she whispered, eyes far too bright for his liking.
“So? So what if I am? Aren’t we all trying to make up for something or to create a new memory to erase the old? That doesn’t mean I won’t be good to you and good to him. I swear to you that I will. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
“I already know you’ll be good for us. No one’s been to us what you have been. It’s like you swept into our lives and turned them into a fairy tale. But what happens when the story’s over? Then what?”
She pulled one of her hands free to rub at her cheek. He couldn’t see any tears. Didn’t want to. If she was crying and he was the cause, he’d kick his own ass.
“I don’t think we can go back to where we came from,” she continued brokenly. “Not after all…this.”
“You’ve struggled so much. Emotionally, financially. Of course you wouldn’t want to go back to what you knew before. I’ll make sure you never do. You don’t understand how much money I have, and it doesn’t even matter to me. If something happens and this goes south, you and Axl will be protected. I promise you.”
“No. God, no. You think I’m talking about money?” She rubbed her thumb under her eye again and he knew she had to be crying, even if the tears seemed to vanish the second they hit her skin.
More Chloe tricks. She had a million of