life can be turned around in an hour or two. When I came to see you tonight the future looked like an uphill struggle I might never get control of, but now, now I feel I’ve been given my life back. Richard left us in a terrible mess and it was hard to come to terms with the fact I’d never really known him in spite of being married for four years. But that is the past and I have to look to the future for me and the girls. I can do that now.’
He was still watching her closely but his tone was light when he said, ‘What would you have done if I hadn’t offered you the job?’
She shrugged. ‘Picked myself up and carried on.’
‘The English bulldog we-will-not-be-beaten spirit?’
It was faintly mocking and, as had happened more than once that evening, he’d caught her on the raw. ‘No,’ she answered steadily, ‘just the spirit of a mother who is determined to make a good life for her children, that’s all. Whatever it takes.’
‘A mother.’ His eyes ran over her for a second, and although she had her coat on she felt her breasts tingle as though he had reached out and touched her. ‘I find it difficult to see you as a mother. Not that I doubt you’re a very good one,’ he added hastily, ‘but you look so young and—’ his tone changed, becoming self-derisive ‘—untouched.’
‘Looks are deceptive.’ His brief inspection had left her feeling panicky and afraid of something she couldn’t put a name to. And it was because of this she felt compelled to add, ‘I am totally a mother; Amelia and Daisy are the only people who really matter to me and that’s the way it’s going to be from now on. We don’t need anyone else.’
‘I’m sure your parents would be gratified to hear that,’ he murmured drily, one dark eyebrow quirking.
‘I didn’t mean them. I meant …’
‘I think I know what you meant,’ he put in soothingly as her voice dwindled away. ‘You intend to devote yourself to your children and your work. Is that right?’
She nodded. She felt he was laughing at her but the handsome, hard face was giving nothing away.
‘You don’t think life might be a little … dull after a while?’
The last four years were suddenly stark and sharp on the screen of her mind. The grind, the agonising, the turmoil of making an unworkable marriage work for the sake of the twins. She had gritted her teeth and fulfilled her wifely duties in bed and out of it, but all the time she’d known she was living a lie. Richard had worked impossibly long hours and when he’d arrived home he’d been difficult and sometimes downright hostile, not wanting anything to do with Amelia and Daisy. Of course she knew now that was mostly due to the gambling. The long hours at ‘work', the family occasions he’d missed and times he’d let her down when they’d had guests to dinner and he hadn’t come home; all the time he’d been feeding his addiction. She had told herself he was putting in the hours for them, her and the children, and stomached it all, tolerating his moods and rages. What a fool she had been. What a gullible, blind fool. But never again. Never, ever again.
Looking straight into the silver-blue eyes, she said, ‘I don’t mind dull at all, as it happens, as long as Amelia and Daisy are happy and healthy.’
They had just drawn up outside her parents’ terrace, and even in the dark it was clear how small and narrow the houses were. Toni felt a fleeting stab of embarrassment when she remembered the sumptuous penthouse and then she told herself not to be such a snob. It didn’t matter what Steel thought and her parents’ home was perfect for a retired elderly couple. It was just unfortunate it had been forced to stretch to include herself and the girls too.
‘Thank you, Mr—Steel,’ she corrected quickly when one dark eyebrow rose. ‘I’ll see you Monday morning and I’ll have some ideas and prices sketched out by then.’
He moved to open the door and stepped out of the cab, holding out his hand to help her descend into the street. He didn’t let go of her fingers once she was standing in front of him, shaking her hand as he said, ‘Goodnight, Toni. I’m sure you’re going to be an asset to the business. Welcome on board.’
‘Thank