list in case she had to give me an injection.
The doctor came in, and thankfully, was not handsome in any way. No one needs a hot doctor seeing their bodies, especially when they’re sick. All doctors should be ugly. He was nice. After the exam, he left the room to get my strep test results. He came back in with a smile on his face which made me feel more at ease. He could write me a script and I would be on my way.
“Ms. Spencer, when was your last menstrual period?”
“I’m not sure. I just lost my son in June.”
“You haven’t had a period since then?”
Whoa. Wait one minute. It was the end of August. Holy shit.
“Holy shit. Sorry. Sorry. I’ve had a lot going on. I haven’t really thought about periods.”
He flipped through the forms I had filled out earlier while I took the opportunity to have a private mini-panic attack.
“Since the beginning of June, you haven’t had one…from what you wrote in the medical questionnaire?”
“Yes. Why?”
“We need to take some blood. When it comes back, we’ll have a quantitative result which will give me a better idea of how far along you are, but the urine test is positive. You’re definitely pregnant.”
“No, I’m not.”
“Have you had physical relations with a man since early June?”
“That’s not the point. There must be some mistake…with the test. You should run it again,” I demanded, motioning towards the door. “The doctor in Peru said that this kind of thing wouldn’t be easy. Maybe the test got switched.”
“There’s no mistake. You’re pregnant.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“So, the throwing up…”
“…is pregnancy related. Do you have an obstetrician in mind?”
“Do you have a shrink in mind?”
He started laughing.
“I’m not kidding,” I said most sincerely.
“This is a lot for you to take in right now- it’s understandable. Do you have someone I can call for you?”
“No. No one can know about this.”
“With your history, you’ll need to be monitored very closely. You’ll be considered high risk.
“Which means what exactly?”
“You’ll be seeing a lot of your obstetrician over the next eight months.”
I just shook my head. This was all a little much. I never thought that I would conceive again, especially this close to having lost Connor.
“I’m going to write a prescription for some vitamins that you should start taking immediately. We’ll run some hormone levels and forward the results to Dr. Brandon. He’s very nice and deals exclusively with high risk patients like you. Manage your stress level, eat healthy, and get lots of sleep. I’ll have my office call you this afternoon with an appointment time for Dr. Brandon. His office is in this building on the 4th floor.”
“Your staff can’t call my home.” I pointed to my chart. “Write that down. I have a lot of visitors these days and I’m not ready to share this information. Please scratch out my home phone and circle my cell phone for the contact number.”
“Relax, Julia. We’re not allowed to release your information to anyone without your permission. It’s a HIPAA violation.”
“Yeah…and I’m a lawyer so be sure your staff understands that.”
“Okay. I’ll do that. Someone will be coming in to draw your blood.”
“Great.”
I paid for the visit and somehow made it out to my car. After turning on the ignition, I started the air conditioner and just sat there, in shock. Henry and I always wanted to have children, but not now, with how things were between us. I couldn’t call him. What would I say? I hate you and guess what…I’m having your baby? Never.
Finally concluding that sitting in the parking lot wasn’t going to solve anything; I drove on to the pharmacy and purchased the vitamins. Discarding the bag when I cleared the store, I buried them deep in the bottom of my purse, away from prying eyes. When I returned to the car, I pulled out my cell and stared at it for a long time. Who should I call? Tommy. I phoned and got his voice mail to which I left a 9-1-1 message about getting to Savannah with great speed. He was a worrier. I knew the message would get him to me quickly. I just couldn’t break the news to him over the phone.
No one was home when I returned. Kate had left a note on the kitchen table that she had gone to horse therapy with Gabe and Mattie. I was thankful. I couldn’t play twenty questions when I didn’t have any of the answers.
Today was a hot Savannah day. I took