move on.”
“You’re leaving again.” My face instantly formed a pathetic pout.
He leaned over, kissing me on the forehead and stroked my tangled web of hair.
“Cheer up. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
I wasn’t cheery. I was tired of him leaving.
He stood and walked away from the table. We grumbled, but eventually changed clothes and made our way to the cemetery. I stopped in front of the gate, frozen, unable to go in. Kate saw me hesitate and grabbed my hand in a show of support as she swung it open. I jumped as it banged closed behind us.
Henry quickly placed a square of sod in my hand and instructed me on how to lay it out. He was cutting pieces to fit near the walkway. Kate drew a sponge from a bucket of soapy water and washed down Connor’s headstone. When we completed the clean up, we moved over to my mom’s grave. I hadn’t visited the house since her birthday last year and the plants had become overgrown. We trimmed the trees and shrubs and fished leaves out of the fountain. Within a few hours, we had restored beauty to an ugly place.
Henry pulled out the hose to water down the sod. We felt compelled to pour our bucket of water over his unsuspecting head. A full on water fight ensued. It felt good to be able to laugh in the cemetery, with my son. I knew that this was a place for me- for my comfort. Tommy was right when he said that Connor only knew joy and peace. Funerals and headstones are for the living.
Henry began to eye his watch. I knew that our time together was coming to an end. I was getting used to the view of his back as he left me. He recoiled the hose and went on ahead to change, while Kate and I stayed back to gather the garden tools.
“What are your big plans with Gabe?”
“It’s a surprise.” She looked at her watch.
“What time are you meeting him?”
“Thirty minutes. I better run ahead and get a shower. Will you be okay? You can always come over.”
“I’m a big girl. I do alone very well. I’ve had lots of practice.”
“If you’re sure?”
“I’m sure. No butter knives or razors. Don’t worry. Go on. I’ll get this stuff put up. I plan on taking a very long nap. I need one after last night’s festivities. Give Gabe a kiss for me.”
“Can’t. I don’t share well with others. Call if you need me.”
“Go.”
I sat down enjoying the peace and rest. I was feeling old- tired and worn out. I looked through the bag of food that Henry assembled to snack on during our work. I inhaled a ham sandwich and a bag of chips, sharing them with that same red cardinal.
Henry came out to say goodbye. The shower had done wonders. He looked amazing even though he was in jeans and a blue button down shirt. The color brought out his eyes. He sat down on the bench next to me.
“You smell good,” I commented, sniffing his skin.
“You don’t.”
I gave him a well deserved smack.
“Are you gone yet?”
“I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“I miss you already.”
7
A quick kiss, but an even faster departure; Henry seemed in a hurry. I took my time walking back, stopping to cut some flowers with the shears I’d kept. The house was silent and I was exhausted. I found a vase for the blooms and then proceeded upstairs to take a long, hot shower.
I spent time shaving and pampering myself with the abundance of products left by Henry. Being a guy and not knowing what to buy me, he managed to get one of just about everything in the way of toiletries. With nothing better to do, I used the loofah, did a ten minute hair mask, and then exfoliated my face before the water ran cold.
Since I’d be sleeping alone, I decided to forego the seductive lingerie that was just begging to be worn. Instead, I chose a long white gown, with an empire waist. The lace dropped from under my breast, flowing down to the floor. I dried my hair and even put a coat of paint on my nails. A final dab of lip moisturizer and I was done. I admired my handiwork, even though there was no one around to appreciate it. I didn’t care. I felt pretty. All of the primping had left me tired. Retreating to my bed, I rested my eyes.
Sounds of Henry talking to me seemed