obnoxious way.
Regardless, I was glad for his company – not for myself, but for Willow, who deserved a happier Christmas Eve than I felt capable of providing.
Sure, I had the gifts, and the premade dinner, along with maybe three dozen Christmas cookies, courtesy of Willow, who explained that the cookies in the baggie had been only a sample to show just how good they were.
On that, she was right.
Still, their taste held little enjoyment as I wondered what Cami was doing, and if she'd ever be back.
And if she didn't come back?
What then?
What would I do without her?
Not Willow.
But me.
It was a good question. But as far as the answer, I had no idea.
Later that night, I was sitting in the family room with Chase, not saying much of anything as I stared into the fire, wondering what the next year would bring.
At this rate, nothing good.
Already, Chase and I had put the presents under the tree and had eaten the cookies set out for Santa.
Now, we were sitting in silence – me because I was too lost in my own thoughts and Chase because he was more somber than I'd seen him in a while.
But then, he roused himself to say, "So what'd the nanny get you?"
My gaze shifted to the small plastic bag – the one she'd slapped into my hand on the roadside. I hadn't opened it. Instead, I'd set it under the Christmas tree with plans to wait – maybe for Christmas morning, or maybe for when she returned.
If she returned.
I looked back to Chase and said, "She's got a name, you know."
"Yeah. Cami the Nanny, right?" He grinned. "Is it just me, or does that sound like a porno flick?"
My jaw clenched. "It's just you."
"It is not," he laughed. "Or you wouldn’t be looking so pissed off."
"Yeah, I'm pissed," I said. "I don't like the way you said it."
"Oh yeah? Why's that?"
"I just don't."
"Right," he laughed. "So, are you gonna get a new one?"
"A new what?"
"A new nanny," he said. "The way I hear it, the old one's not coming back."
"What?" I felt the blood drain from my face. "Where'd you hear that?"
"At Brody's place, when I picked up Willow. Brody and Arden were talking in the entryway."
"In front of Willow?"
"Nah, she was packing up the cookies. But you're gonna have to tell her sooner or later." He gave me a look. "I mean, if the nanny leaves, she's gonna notice."
My mouth tightened. "Stop calling her the nanny."
"Why?" he laughed.
"Because she's more than that." At the realization, my pulse quickened. "She's family." Or at least, I wanted her to be.
How in the hell had I not seen it sooner?
Chase gave me a dubious look. "Oh yeah? Does she see it that way?"
Fuck.
No. She didn't.
My fault. Not hers.
But I could make her see it – and maybe figure things out for myself along the way.
Suddenly I didn't want to wait.
I stood. "I'll be back in a bit, alright?"
Chapter 57
Cami
In my darkened bedroom, I stared at my cellphone. Mason's text was still on the screen. It said, "Can you talk?"
I bit my lip. Yikes. Where had I read that before?
I was so longing to hear his voice, but the thought of actually talking to him after everything that had happened – well, I wasn't quite sure I was up for it.
I texted back, "About what?"
His reply came in an instant. "Us."
Us?
I scoffed under the covers. There was no "us," unless he meant our boss-employee relationship. And even that had taken a serious beating.
When a couple of minutes passed without me texting him back, he texted again. "Say yes. You know you want to."
It was similar to what he'd texted me a few weeks ago. The first time, it had been funny. Now, all I felt was anger, mostly at myself. Because he was right.
I did want to.
And that was the whole problem. Almost from the beginning, I'd been all too willing to fall into his arms, into his bed, or cripes, into his pantry.
I was just about to tell him to forget it when I considered recent events. Mason had not only come to my rescue. He'd also managed to deliver all of my things – including my purse – to Arden's place in the middle of a raging blizzard.
It was ironic in a way. Even the phone I was using now – I wouldn’t have it if it weren't for Mason.
But had I thanked him?
No. Not even by text.
This wasn't like me.
Plus, I still owed him