a bad idea, right?"
She hesitated. "What do you mean?"
"I mean," I said, "it's not just about us." I looked deep into her eyes and willed her to understand. "I'm not gonna lie. I want you. I've wanted you for a while now."
"Really?"
"Is that such a surprise?"
"Sort of. I mean you never showed it."
I was finding this hard to believe. "Never?"
"Okay, maybe there were sometimes I sort of wondered."
"Well don't," I said, "because I'm telling you straight-up. If I had my way, I'd take you right here – and make damn sure you had nothing to complain about."
At this, she made a sound. It might've been a whimper, or maybe a soft moan. Either way, it went straight to my groin, making me want to pull her closer, to find all of her special places, to give her something to really moan about.
But not yet.
I had to say the rest – for her sake, if nothing else. "But," I continued, "if you wake up tomorrow and regret it, and it hurts Willow, we're gonna have problems."
She blinked. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, if you leave your job because you can't handle it…" I paused to let my words sink in. "I'll make damn sure you regret it."
"What?" She stiffened in my arms. "How?"
"It wouldn't be hard," I said. "A few phone calls, a few innuendos. And there's always bribes."
She swallowed. "Bribes to do what?"
"To make sure that if you leave before your term is up—"
"Wait, my term?"
"The nanny job. You agreed to stay 'til next fall."
"So?"
"So if you leave sooner because of this, I'm telling you up front, you'll have a hell of a time finding a new job."
Her fingers stiffened at the back of my neck. In a near-whisper, she said, "Oh, my God. You're actually threatening me."
"No. I'm letting you know in advance. Whatever you're offering, I'm not taking it at Willow's expense." I gave her a serious look. "And neither should you."
With a whispered scoff, she said, "As if I would. I adore Willow. You know that. But we both know I’m not gonna stay in this job forever."
"And no one expects you."
"But you just said—"
"No. What I said was, if you leave early because of whatever happens tonight, we're gonna have problems."
"You mean I'm gonna have problems."
"You and me." I paused. "And someone else." And that someone was my sister, who was happier than I'd ever seen her. And hell if I'd be the one to destroy her happiness in favor of my own.
Cami shook her head. "I don't believe you. Here we are, having some sort of moment, and you threaten my job."
"Not this job."
"Fine. My replacement job."
"Which you won't need if you stick with this one."
"That's a little heavy-handed, don't you think?"
"Maybe," I admitted. "And yet…" Deliberately, I softened my tone. "…you're not letting go."
It was no lie. Even now, her hands were still laced around the back of my neck. Our pelvises were still touching. And unless those pajama pants of hers were a lot thicker than they looked, she knew exactly how much I wanted her, even now.
She bit her lip. "Yeah, well… You're not letting go either."
She was right. I wasn't.
In spite of the tension, she felt perfect in my arms, like she'd belonged there from the beginning.
Forget letting go.
What I wanted to do was to yank her close and kiss her hot and heavy. I wanted to elicit that sound again, not just once, but over and over as I discovered what she liked and gave her more than she thought she could handle.
I was a good lover. I knew this, just like I knew that even though I had a talent for satisfying women in bed, I left them wanting in other ways.
The physical stuff, it was easy. But real intimacy, I didn't want it or need it. And once again, I didn't want to lie to her.
"And just to be clear," I said, "I'm not looking for a girlfriend."
"Good, because I’m not looking for a boyfriend either. And even if I were…" She shook her head. "Never mind."
The old "never-mind" thing. It was an age-old trick, one I never fell for. And yet, in what was becoming a bad habit, I said the opposite of what I'd planned. "No. Tell me."
She hesitated. "Well, I'm just saying, I don't think we'd make such a great couple."
"Agreed."
I meant it, too. Cami was light-hearted and sweet. But me? There was no lightness in my heart, and I had no sweetness to share