with me being gay, and that made things hard. We worked through them, but it took a long time. Bobby stepped up for me when I was alone. So I kind of promised to always step up for other people, even if it meant things might go to shit for me.”
“He says you’re the one who made him realize he needed to be out,” Ichi confessed in a whisper. “That he’d been living a lie until he got word your partner almost killed you. He’d heard you were gay and out on the force but thought you were an idiot. It wasn’t until another cop tried to murder you and then he had to watch the force cover it up that he needed to step away from his badge.”
“I think he was just tired of filling out reports,” I said with a smile. “It’s the main reason why he won’t be my partner in this investigation business I’ve got. He doesn’t want to do any of the paperwork. Bobby’s a good guy. And he loves you. He doesn’t take unnecessary risks, which is more than I can say about myself, because there’s been more than a few times when I’m in the middle of the shitstorm wondering how I got there. He’s always going to run towards the firefight. That’s just who he is. That’s who I’ve become. But I can promise you that I’m going to do my best to make sure he always comes home to you. I said that before, and I still mean it.”
“I know you do. Just… make sure you come home too, older brother,” Ichi said, lightly pushing at my chest. “Be careful. And whatever you do, remember to duck when someone is shooting at you. You don’t need another hole in that head of yours.”
Nineteen
ONE OF the things I loved about Jae was he woke up very Korean.
It sounded weird, but it was true.
There was a span of a few minutes right after he opened his gorgeous, long-lashed eyes, blinking at the sun fighting its way into our room, when he still lay in his dreams, immersed in all of the colors and fantastical ideas simmering in his brain. His murmurs were in his native tongue—a waterfall of sounds I couldn’t understand, but I felt them pour over me, golden and hot with a spark of electricity to them, even though he wasn’t quite conscious. His black hair lay in a feathery cascade down his cheeks, obscuring his jaw. But his lush mouth was usually bare, plump, and slightly parted, ready for a morning kiss.
English wouldn’t settle back into his thoughts for at least five minutes after those initial blinks. It took him a while to finally seize upon the fourth language he learned. I could barely say my own name in Japanese, so I was envious of the lingual rings he could dance around me.
Okay, I was envious and usually aroused by the literal rings he could dance around me, but I was man enough to admit it.
We were aging together, moving into a rhythm spiced by happiness and the adventurous leanings Jae discovered inside of himself. He blossomed, I settled down, and we found a pace we both enjoyed. It went without saying that he was the love of my heart and soul, but I said it anyway, mangling the Korean I did know. But he’d understand me.
Jae always understood me, even when I didn’t understand myself.
“Saranghae-yo,” I whispered against his parted lips. It was a more formal pronouncement of love, but it’d been the one I learned first. Those were also the words he’d murmured to me a long time before I’d told him how I felt about him. I just hadn’t understood when he’d said them first. “Morning, honey.”
“Honey is the dog, Cole-ah,” he mumbled, his native tongue wrapped around his English with a liquid blur. “Come closer.”
“I get any closer and we’re going to have to kick the dog out. She’s too young to watch her dads do those kinds of things.” His fingers were slightly cold, and I shivered when they found me under the blankets. Stroking at my length, Jae chuckled against my neck when I responded to his touch. “Okay, see, this is why I’m always late in the morning.”
“Claudia should be used to that by now.” Jae’s fingers moved, lightly skimming over intimate places on my body.
“How about if we don’t bring up Claudia right now?” I turned him over, covering Jae’s body with