must be losing my mind.
Erik put his hand on my shoulder: I jumped. “Whoa, there. Why don’t you come back to the place with me. We can check on Raylene and the little ones, have a drink.”
“I better get home and make sure everything’s okay there,” I said. “Thanks anyway, Erik.” I almost apologized to him for the way I was, the way I’d been on the boat. Then I remembered that not only had Erik instigated things, he’d played along with it and more than surpassed me. I don’t know what he said to the guy while I was away. What could make a man crumble like that? Erik looked like a stranger to me now, and I wondered why he was so good at this sort of thing…don’t be coy, Emma. Interrogation is not “this sort of thing.”
“Brian is home, isn’t he?” Erik said. “Not on one of his trips?”
“No, he’s home. Just working late a lot lately. Project will be over soon. He’s working late to avoid actually traveling, doing phone meetings instead.”
“Okay, how about this? We’ll go back to your place, make sure everything’s fine, batten down the hatches. Then you’ll come back, and we’ll talk about what’s going on, get rip-roaring pissed. Raylene will give you a lift home. And I’ll tell you my special hangover remedy for the morning. What do you say?”
Not a word about why he and Raylene might be involved in this. Not a single syllable about the fact that it was their acquaintance with me that had endangered his wife, threatened his family and his business. After the way that Marty and Dora had asked me to stay away—and rightly, as much as I hated to admit it—Erik was willing to take me closer into the heart of his family. I could barely look at him.
And yet, the thought of spending even a few hours alone in the house, even with the cats, even with a phone call to Brian, was repugnant. I couldn’t face it. Again, weakness. Not so different from the amoral weakness I’d just been rejoicing in. What was right? Was I weak to be afraid of being alone or weak to embrace violence to solve a problem?
All I knew was that I was running out of ways to deal with this all on my own. “Thank you, Erik. I think I will, if you don’t mind.”
“Good. Settled then.”
Easy for him to say.
We drove back to the house; I checked the alarm, the doors, counted the cats by rattling the food dish.
I called Brian’s office; he’d already left, so I talked Erik into staying and having a drink, rather than going back. I didn’t want to call Brian’s cell, he’d drive off the road when he heard the news. And I decided I didn’t want him to come home to find the house empty.
He glanced at his watch. “Just one quick one. I’ll call Raylene and let her know.”
He called, and I found the whiskey and a couple of glasses. “You want ice?”
Erik scowled at me like I should know better. I did, but wasn’t the sort to impose my religious beliefs on others. I slid a glass toward him, and he picked it up, glanced at the color appreciatively, and tilted it toward me.
“Getting the bad guys.”
I raised my eyebrows at him, frowned, clinked. The burn at the back of my throat was exactly what I needed; the smoke and peat took me away for just a moment…
Not far enough. Not long enough.
We drank in silence. Finally, Erik cleared his thoat, looked away, embarrassed. “You know, you did real good tonight. You kept your head.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“Look, I know your type, I know what you’re like—”
“My type?”
“You know what I mean. Girls.” He shrugged. “Women. You keep your head in a situation, maybe, but you worry, pick over every little thing afterwards. I’m telling you: Don’t worry.”
I tried very hard not to slam my glass as I set it down. “Erik, what we did tonight…”
He waved his hand. “What I did. You didn’t do nothing. Didn’t lie, didn’t hurt anyone.”
“You know that’s not true. I’m every bit as involved—”
“That’s the worrying I’m talking about. Look, if there was a coyote taking your sheep, you wouldn’t just sit there, would you?”
“This is different. What I did tonight, it really scares me. It’s like…I don’t actually remember picking up the hammer, but I know damn well that it didn’t magically fly into my hand, you know what I mean?