like a relief, oddly enough. I’d spent so much time trying to hold on to control with a white-knuckle grip that letting go was never an option. But with him, I thought maybe I could let go. I could put my heart in his hands again, but this time, I knew I could trust him not to break it.
I pulled at the little bow that kept the collar of my dress tight, then undid the buttons. I had no reason to be self-conscious of my body. I took good care of myself, but I still couldn’t stop my hands from shaking like this was my first time with a man.
Nick’s sharp intake of breath at just the sight of my chest in a bra helped ease my nerves. He clearly liked what he was seeing so far.
“More,” he practically growled.
I grinned, and with that grin, I felt most of my remaining nerves melt away. This could be fun. This would be fun. It didn’t have to mean I was going to let Max run the story either. We were both adults, and we both wanted this. It could be that simple.
“You first,” I said.
Nick’s eyes were electric as he pulled his tie loose and dropped it to the floor with a silky whoosh. He undid his buttons next, giving me my first glimpse of his smooth, muscular torso. I wanted to reach out and touch him, but I wanted to at least maintain some semblance of dignity, even as I was stripping off my clothes.
“Now you.”
I chewed my lip, then slid off my dress. I was wearing a white thong, and I kept myself from self-consciously glancing down to make sure it hadn’t scrunched up awkwardly.
Nick’s eyes roamed me so hungrily I didn’t think he was going to be able to wait for this whole striptease to finish.
He stepped toward me and my breath caught, but he reached into the shower only to start the water. Now we were only inches apart. With him standing so close, I could feel the heat rushing away from his skin. God. He was like a furnace.
“Bra,” he said.
I held up my hands playfully. “I thought you were too jealous of these to let them have all the fun. Or did you forget?”
He made a deep groaning sound as he pushed me against the wall and pressed his mouth against my neck. With skillful, quick fingers, he undid my bra and tugged it away from me. He didn’t even take time to admire the view before plunging his mouth down around my nipple.
I sucked in a surprised breath and felt my neck arch back all on its own. Nick was always so deliberate and measured that seeing him this animalistic was unbelievably hot. I threaded my fingers through his hair, gripping hard and pressing his mouth against me. When he groaned, I could feel the vibrations run through my chest, spreading a wave of intoxicating heat all the way to my core.
“I think you got hot faster than the water,” he said, grinning up at me, almost boyishly.
I knew I was blushing, but I didn’t care. “You too.” I half breathed the words because it was all I could manage. I felt like I was in the middle of a marathon—like my brain was starved for oxygen and running at only a tenth of normal speed. In reality, I suspected every available ounce of processing power was getting sent to recording and enjoying as much of Nick’s touch as I could. I was savoring it like it might be the last time his hands were on me, because for all I knew, it would be.
He backed me into the shower, helping me balance as I stepped over the ridge of the small tub.
“I’m still—” I started.
“Fuck the clothes,” he said.
“I think that’s actually the opposite of how this works,” I said.
“Smart-ass.”
The water made a pattering sound against Nick’s pants and soaked straight through my thong. He didn’t even bother with our remaining clothes before hiking my legs up around his waist and pressing my back into the wall.
I put my hands on his cheeks and stared at his face, mesmerized by the rivulets of water tracing his carved features and running off his parted lips. “Tell me one thing,” I said.
“Anything.”
“What would you have done if my name was on that poem seven years ago?”
“I always wanted you, but I wanted you so badly I was too afraid of screwing it up. Seeing your