need me to take a look?”
Nick took Cade by the shoulders and guided him back to his four-wheeler. “It’s the one where I thank you for helping us, but ask you to leave so we can get some sleep.”
“Together?” he asked with a shit-eating grin.
“Not if you keep this up,” Nick said.
Cade reluctantly hopped on the four-wheeler and gave us one last smirk, then rode off.
My phone buzzed several times in my purse. I hadn’t realized I was out of service range, but I must’ve been, because I could tell a barrage of texts had come in. I glanced down at the display and saw unread messages from Kira and Iris—and two from Robbie. Why would Robbie be texting me?
“Everything okay?” Nick asked.
“Yes,” I said, shoving my phone back in my purse. “Sorry.” I wasn’t sure where to go from here. In the forest, it had felt natural. I’d wanted to take things a step further, even just to kiss him again. But our little intermission with Cade felt like it had broken the spell. All the old, familiar doubts had been given time to creep back into my thoughts.
Nick and I were skirting around the very real idea of openly dating. When I was in the moment, it was as easy as breathing to let one thing lead to another. But could I really just throw caution to the wind and forget about what everyone would think? Dating him would almost certainly mean putting my career in a coffin. If that wasn’t bad enough, it’d mean putting my heart in his hands again. Last time I’d done that, he had taken the first excuse to practically run away from me at full speed. What was to say the same thing wouldn’t happen again?
“Hey,” he said. He stepped closer and took my hands in his. “If you’re having doubts about this, I can wait. I’ll wait as long as you need, okay?”
I felt slightly embarrassed that he could see straight through me so easily, but I was also reassured. He wasn’t going to make me rush into things before I was ready, and that meant I would at least have time to sort through my feelings if I needed to.
“Would it be crazy to ask if I can sleep in your room tonight? I don’t know if I’m ready for . . . that, but I’m not ready for tonight to be over either.”
He nodded, and the way his eyes were locked on mine might’ve been the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. It was like I could see something primal at war within him, but he was keeping it in check. I loved both parts—that he wanted me so badly and that he was able to control it.
“I need a shower before bed, though. We can take turns,” he added.
I insisted on letting Nick shower first. I sat on the edge of his bed while I listened to the running water and the occasional splashing as he cleaned himself. I tried not to dwell too long on the image of his naked, powerful body and his hands running soapy water across his muscled torso. I didn’t know why it felt like I was having so much trouble with the idea of having sex with Nick. It felt like I was putting the idea on some pedestal, as if the act was going to bind us together permanently and mean we’d wind up married.
It was only a few weeks ago that I broke off my relationship with Robbie because I felt like it was heading downhill toward marriage, white picket fences, and kids. The thought of that with Robbie had scared the living crap out of me. It went against everything I thought I’d wanted.
So why wasn’t the idea of the same things with Nick as terrifying? I didn’t know, but I knew I needed to wait—at least a little longer. I needed to understand what the hell was going on in my head before I risked getting whisked away on his wave. Because I made no mistake about it. Nick was very much like an impossibly strong, slow-moving wave. I could walk away from it, maybe forever, but I’d feel it looming behind me, just like I had for the last seven years. Only now I’d turned and put my hand in the waters. I’d felt the irresistible tug of its power, and I knew that all it would take was one moment of surrender. I just had to stop