on. And many of these people are standbys. We’re two and three, remember.”
“God, if you exist, please get me off this island.”
She was very near crying. I left her by the door and tried to get up to the edge of the counter. I heard the plane approach and touch down.
In minutes the regular passengers were nearly all cleared away from the counter and were forming a line across the room. The heat was already drenching. Among those of us who remained clustered, there were small gusts of desperation—a vehemence of motion, gesture and expression.
I heard the clerk call our names. I got to the counter and leaned way over. His head and mine were almost touching. One would go, I told him, and one would not. I gave him Jill’s ticket. Then I hurried back to get her luggage and carry it to the small platform next to the counter. Her mouth gaped open and her arms shot out from her sides in a kind of silent-movie figure of surprise. She started after me with one of my own bags.
“You’re going alone,” I said. “You have to fill out a form at the booth. Where’s your passport?”
Rid of the luggage, I walked her over to immigration and held one of her tote bags as she filled out the yellow form. Between lines, she kept looking at me anxiously. Confusion everywhere. The space around us glassy and bright.
“Here’s money for the airport tax. They had room for only one of us. It’s stupid for you not to go.”
“But we agreed.”
“It’s stupid not to go.”
“I don’t like this.”
“You’ll be all right.”
“What about you?”
“I’ll marry a native woman and learn how to paint.”
“We can charter. Let’s try, even if it’s just the two of us.”
“It’s hopeless. Nothing works here.”
“I don’t like leaving this way. This is so awful. I don’t want to go.”
“Darling Jill,” I said.
I watched her walk toward the ramp at the tail section. Soon the props were turning. I went inside and saw Christa near the door. I got my bags and walked out to the road. Rupert was sitting on a bench outside the gift shop. I had to walk about ten yards down the road before I was able to catch his eye. I looked back at Christa. She picked up her suitcase. Then the three of us from our separate locations started toward the car.
I was beginning to learn when a certain set of houses would appear, where the worst turns were, when and on which side the terrain would fall away to a stretch of deep jungle. She sat next to me absently rubbing an insect bite on her left forearm.
We went to the same hotel and I asked for a pool suite. We followed a maid along the beach and then up the path to one of the garden gates. The way Christa reacted to the garden and pool, I realized she’d spent the previous night in one of the beach units, which were ordinary.
When we were alone, I followed her into the bathroom. She took some lotion out of her makeup kit and poured a small amount on a piece of cotton. Slowly she moved the cotton over her face.
“You were number seven,” I said.
“They took four, only.”
“You would have come back alone? Or stayed at the airport?”
“I have very little money. I didn’t expect.”
“They have no computer.”
“I have gone out. I have called them from the hotel where I was. They have different lists. Two times they could not find my name anywhere. And there is no way to know when a flight is canceled.”
“The plane doesn’t come.”
“This is true,” she said. “The plane doesn’t come and you know you have gone out for nothing.”
I held her face in my hands.
“Is this nothing?”
“I don’t know.”
“You feel.”
“Yes, I feel.”
She walked inside and sat on the bed. Then she looked toward the doorway, taking me in—a delayed evaluation. After a period of what seemed dead silence, I was aware of the sound of waves rolling softly in, and realized I’d been hearing it all along, the ocean, the break and run of moving water. Christa kept her eyes on me as she reached back toward her handbag, which was sitting in the middle of the bed, and then as she felt inside for cigarettes.
“How much money do you have?” I said.
“One hundred dollars, E.C.”
“Less than two trips out and back.”
“It’s amusing, yes. This is how we must count our money.”
“Did you sleep last night?”
“No,”