I watch. Not just lentil-eating hippies with animal rights tendencies then. More lentil-eating grunge-goth fans and serious students of cool.
The bell rings for lessons, and Dan Carney, Lily Caldwell and the scally boys amble past. I know Dan acts tough and cool at school, and I try not to care. I try, but it’s not quite working.
‘Hey,’ Dan says as he passes. It isn’t much of a greeting, but it makes his friends frown. It makes Lily Caldwell frown a lot.
But it makes me smile.
Frankie McGee doesn’t do PE.
‘It’s bad for you,’ she tells me, sitting on a bench in the changing rooms while I struggle into billowing grey shorts and a shrunken white T-shirt. ‘All that running around and stretching and straining. It jiggles your insides about. You could do yourself an injury.’
‘It is good to run,’ I tell her.
‘No, Anya, that’s just a rumour put about by PE teachers,’ Frankie insists. ‘Exercise makes you red and sweaty and out of breath. How can that be good?’
I’d like to tell Frankie that exercise keeps you fit and slim and full of energy, but I know she won’t listen. She is clutching a note from her mum, excusing her from the lesson.
‘What is it this week?’ I ask her.
‘Tummy cramps,’ she says. ‘Or is it migraine? I can’t remember.’
Whatever it is, Miss Barlow accepts it with a resigned sigh, and Frankie gets to sit in the changing room flicking through yet another magazine while I line up with the other girls. Miss Barlow herds us out on to the school playing fields, shivering.
‘It’s too cold to be outside, Miss,’ Lily Caldwell says. ‘Can’t we do something indoors?’
‘Not today,’ Miss Barlow says. ‘I’ve planned a cross-country run, twice round the playing fields and through the woods. You’ll run in pairs, working as a team! Choose a partner, please!’
Everyone pairs up… everyone except me. I’m not invisible any more and everyone is friendly enough, but they all have their own special friends. And my friend, Frankie, is toasting her toes by the radiator inside.
On the edge of the group, I can see Lily Caldwell, arms folded, face like thunder. She has no partner, either. She doesn’t really have girl friends, I realize. She’s kind of a loner, when she’s not with the scally boys.
Miss Barlow frowns. ‘Anya, Lily, you two can go together. Keep each other out of trouble. Now, is that everyone?’
Lily scowls at me, the way she did in the cafe the other night. I feel like something slimy and disgusting that you might find under a stone.
‘Follow the white markers!’ Miss Barlow yells. ‘I’ll be timing you!’
She blows her whistle and we lurch into a jog. After two circuits of the fields, my legs are aching, my breath coming in short gasps. The runners head into the woods that skirt the school grounds, with Lily and I trailing along behind. We dodge puddles, jump ditches, clamber over fallen logs. My trainers squelch with ditchwater and there are twigs in my hair. I am beginning to think that Frankie has a point about PE lessons.
‘Stuff this,’ Lily says, stopping short. She looks around, then disappears off through the trees.
‘Lily!’ I yell. ‘We are a team! Don’t go!’
I push through the bushes and find her sitting on a fallen log. She takes out a ciggy and lights it, taking a long draw.
‘Lily… this will mean trouble!’
She looks at me, her grey eyes cold. ‘Push off then,’ she says. ‘Like I care!’
‘We are a team,’ I repeat, but Lily just laughs.
‘I’m not in a team with you, OK?’ she says. ‘Not now, not ever. I don’t even like you.’
My cheeks darken. ‘Why?’ I ask. ‘What have I done?’
Lily rolls her eyes. ‘Come off it, Miss Perfect,’ she snarls. ‘You turn up here, all little-girl-lost, with your cute accent and your big blue eyes and your long blonde hair, fluttering your lashes, acting all shy. Well, you don’t belong here, OK? You can’t just barge right in and make yourself at home. Go back to where you came from!’
I bite my lip so hard I can taste blood, but I will not cry in front of Lily Caldwell. I will not.
‘I cannot go back,’ I say.
‘How come?’
‘My father has a business here,’ I tell her. ‘In Poland, there is nothing for us now. No home, no work, no money…’
‘Right,’ Lily sighs. ‘There’s nothing for you there, so you come over here and take our jobs, our homes. You get an education for free