be brave, like them.
We can’t stay above the candyfloss clouds forever, of course, and eventually the plane begins its descent towards Liverpool John Lennon Airport. The three of us hold hands as the plane lands, our eyes wide, our hearts thumping. Climbing down the plane steps on to British soil, we find ourselves in a dark, grey world where the wind whips our hair against our faces and the rain slants down in sheets.
‘Just like Krakow,’ Mum jokes.
We collect our cases and go through passport control and immigration, and then we are at the gates, and Dad is there, waving madly, his face breaking into the widest grin I have ever seen.
‘My girls!’ he yells. ‘My beautiful girls!’
We fall into his arms.
Nothing about Britain is the way I thought it would be. Instead of blue skies and sunshine, there are grey clouds and endless rain that seeps into your bones, your soul. It’s October, and there are no swallows, just noisy pigeons and squawking seagulls.
It’s funny how quickly a dream can crumble.
The house Dad promised turns out to be a poky flat above a chippy called Mr Yip’s Fish Emporium. The faded wallpaper curls away from damp walls and the smell of stale chip fat clings to everything. Dad has fixed the broken window, mended the kitchen cupboard, but still, it’s a dump. There are no roses around the door, just yellow weeds between the broken paving stones and a litter of scrunchedup chip papers.
It turns out that Dad’s new business isn’t making his fortune after all. Instead, it’s eating up most of his time and quite a bit of his savings.
‘It’s just a little cash-flow problem,’ he explains. ‘I promised you a proper house, and we will get one, definitely, once the agency is doing well. This flat – this area – is just temporary.’
Mum looks around the flat as if she might cry.
‘The agency will take off,’ Dad promises. ‘You have to trust me on this. We’ve had a few problems, but with the cash I’ve been able to put into the business, we will soon be in profit. I didn’t want you to change your plans – I wanted us all to be together. We’ve waited so long to be a family again.’
Dad puts his arms round Mum and me and Kazia, and for a moment the nightmare flat fades. We are together again. That’s what matters, isn’t it? And this is an adventure…
That’s what I tell myself, curled up in a creaky bed with the moonlight flooding through stringy curtains and the sound of my little sister Kazia crying quietly into her pillow.
That’s what I tell myself the next day, as we walk into town to go to Polish Mass at the Catholic cathedral. Mum, Kazia and I look around at the tall Victorian houses, which look like they’ve seen better days, the ragged pair of boxer shorts hanging from a tree like a flag, the beer cans in the gutter.
Even the cathedral is a disappointment. It’s like a giant ice-cream cone dumped down on to the pavement, or a shiny spaceship that has landed by accident and can’t quite get away again. It’s a million miles from the tall, elegant churches of Krakow.
Inside, though, light streams through the stained glass. It’s like being inside a giant kaleidoscope, with patches of jewel-bright colour everywhere. I listen to the Mass, close my eyes and pray for a miracle, something to rescue us from the sad and scruffy flat, the endless grey drizzle. I want my dream back, because it was way better than the reality.
After Mass, we stand on the cathedral steps while Dad introduces us to his friends and workmates.
‘This is Tomasz and Stefan, who work with me,’ he says, beaming. ‘This is Mr and Mrs Nowak, and Mr and Mrs Zamoyski…’
‘Pleased to meet you… of course, this is a difficult time to be starting out… there’s not quite as much work in the city as there once was, but I’m sure you will be fine! Welcome, welcome!’
We shake hands and smile until our faces hurt.
‘You’ll find it very different from home,’ one girl tells me. ‘I hated it, at first.’
‘Just don’t show them you’re scared,’ another tells me.
‘I’m not scared!’ I argue, and the girls just look at me, smiling, as if they know better. Well, maybe they do.
The next day, I pull on a white shirt and black skirt, ready for school. I slip on a second-hand blazer, black with red piping, two sizes