HURT YOU SO MUCH.
“You did. Don’t say that. You did.” There is something brittle and pained in Velma’s face: there is nothing worse than an opponent who is suddenly revealed to be understanding and compassionate.
YOU KNOW SHE WILL NEVER WORK AS A HOST. YOU CANNOT USE HER TO BRING BACK MOTHER.
Velma grows eerily calm. “You think so, do you,” she says softly.
I KNOW.
“That’s nothing special. I found that out long ago. I tried to show her Mother—tried to open her eyes to where She lay sleeping. But she resisted. She is quite strong. But there are other ways.” She turns and starts to walk back down the canyon.
WHAT WILL YOU DO? asks the voice. I TOLD YOU SHE WOULD NEVER WORK FOR YOU.
“She won’t,” says Velma. “But she was once a mother in her own right. Or she could have been. I know. I saw it, when I touched her.”
EVEN IF YOU WERE TO TRY… I WOULD STOP YOU. SHE CANNOT COME BACK. SHE CANNOT.
“You would fight? They think you a monster here, you know. And what you have done here is pathetic and wrong.”
I KNOW. BUT DO YOU NOT SEE… THAT IS WHY I AM WILLING TO FIGHT?
“No.”
I HAVE DONE WRONG, SIBLING. I WILL NOT DO MORE.
“How sad you’ve become. Maybe, when She comes, She’ll spare you out of pity.” Velma reaches into her coat pocket and takes out something dark. As she maneuvers it in her hands, Gracie sees it is a snub-nosed .38. Velma looks toward the end of the canyon, and attempts a smile—a crooked, awkward, mangled version of a smile—and, with a, “See you around, Brother,” she holds the pistol to her head.
Oh my God, thinks Gracie, but before she can move there is a small (really just amazingly small) pop.
Something dark burbles up from Velma’s head. It pools in the brim of her white hat for a moment. Then she tips forward, toward the end of the canyon, and blood begins to course out of her skull to soak into the gravel. Then she is still.
Gracie covers her eyes with her hands. The air fills with that low, low hum, and she hears a quiet, soft voice in her ear:
I’m sorry you had to see that.
Gracie lowers her hands, but keeps her eyes shut. She thinks, You never told me you could talk out loud.
It’s very uncomfortable for me. And this is more intimate. More private.
Where’s Mona? Is she safe?
She is… away, says the voice in her ear. But I do not think she is safe, no. Not… after that. I tried to protect her, but it seems I underestimated the resolve of my opponents.
How could Velma… do something like that? Why?
It wasn’t the girl you knew. Not inside. I think whatever was inside her has found a loophole in the way things work here. Probably a lot of loopholes. Perhaps ones that were intentionally put there.
What was it trying to do to you? thinks Gracie. What’s the wildling?
Another one of the loopholes. The wildling is… my big brother.
Gracie sits in shock for a moment. I thought you didn’t have anyone older than you?
I do. I thought it was lost, or dead. Mother abandoned it when it was very young. But it appears it has survived, and even followed us here. But because Mother did not help it come here, did not deliver it as She did all of us, its transport was… marred. It is here, but it is trapped. Yet it seems someone has figured out how to give it entry to our lives. And since it never promised Her anything…
It can do what it likes, thinks Gracie.
Yes. And it is… incredibly powerful. The older we are, the more we’re like Her.
So what will you do?
A pause.
Gracie says, out loud, “Anything?”
The quiet voice says, I will do what I must. I never raised a hand to Her. No one did. But maybe I should have.
Gracie thinks, What do you mean?
Come here. Down the canyon. To me. Do you see me?
No, thinks Gracie. There is a fluting sound again, like a pipe organ, and something appears to form in the air. Yes. Now I do.
Come to me. I will make you ready.
Gracie stands and makes her way down the canyon, stepping around the reddened spots of gravel. For what?
Your departure. I just have one last question.
Yes?
Do you know how to drive a car?
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
People tend to assume consciousness is a single, unified act. You just are: there’s you, being alive, and you knowing