off the inevitable for as long as possible. “Alright, if you really want to know, I’ll tell you.”
Jason’s eyes widened, making it hard to keep a straight face. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.” Colt sighed. “It’s been eating away at me, anyway.”
Jason shifted closer, looking intently into Colt’s eyes. He was so earnest Colt almost felt bad, but it served him right for all the endless pestering when they did finally get a moment alone together. “What is it?”
Colt took a deep breath and swallowed hard. “That night, before we showed up… before the mayor got attacked…”
“Yeah?” Jason pressed anxiously.
“I went to meet Andrew at his gala first, and we… God, this is hard to say. I don’t know if you can see me the same way again.”
“Colt, whatever it is, I can handle it,” Jason said, cupping Colt’s face in his hand. “I just need you to be honest with me.”
Colt let his eyes fall shut and nodded. “Okay. Jason, the truth is that I…I screwed Andrew in his dressing room.”
Jason’s face went blank. “You fucking—”
“I know you’re angry, and I know there’s no excuse, but it’s those damn khakis, man. The way they hug his tight, luscious ass and those pleats, ironed with such godlike precision. How was I supposed to resist?”
“You’re an ass, you know that?” Jason said, pushing himself off Colt’s lap. “I hope you did fuck Andrew because that’s the only action you’ll be getting for a long damn time.”
Colt got off the couch to tackle him from behind, laughing as Jason struggled half-heartedly against him. “Don’t be jealous. There’s room in my heart for both of you, Jay.”
“Get off me, you overgrown oaf,” Jason grumbled, turning away as Colt started tickling his side. He yelped, kicking and thrashing as he laughed in spite of himself. “Stop that, you prick!”
“Not until you say you’ll forgive me for my wandering heart! And hands...”
Jason was laughing too hard to respond as his knees buckled, and he went limp in Colt’s arms. The shift in weight took them both to the floor, and Colt landed on top of him, face-to-face.
“I’m not forgiving you for shit, you jerk,” Jason huffed, still laughing even though Colt had stopped tickling him. There were tears in his eyes, and Colt couldn’t stop grinning. “I’m still pissed at you, and no, not for your imaginary love affair with my boss. At this point, I wish it was true. At least that would be easier to explain.”
“You know you’re the only one I want to be with, Jay,” Colt said, growing serious as he gazed down at Jason. Even though they spoke as often as they could over text, he missed the days when they had been together from sunup to sundown and spent more than a few nights talking through their windows.
“I know, but even if it isn’t another person, there’s still something between us,” Jason said softly. “I’ve tried, Colt, but I just can’t keep pretending like it doesn’t bother me.”
“I know,” Colt murmured, stroking Jason’s cheek. Validating his feelings rather than taking the easy route and gaslighting him, even if it was probably in his best interest, was the best he could do. The lines between lover and protector had been so much simpler to navigate before he’d awakened as a ghoul. Now, he was always struggling to decide between maintaining a healthy friendship and the level of deception it took just to keep Jason alive.
The Council knew who Colt was now. In some ways, his position afforded him and the people he loved greater protection, and in others, it put a target on their heads. Evelyn had warned him the Council wasn’t thrilled that Colt had such close ties to humans, and she swore up and down that she was the only one on the Council who knew about him and Jason, but his parents were still in the direct line of fire if he fucked up.
Jason sighed. “It always comes back to this, doesn’t it?”
“What do you mean?”
“You keeping secrets, me going crazy trying to figure out the truth. It’s what we do.”
“We are pretty good at it, aren’t we?”
“I just get so tired sometimes,” Jason admitted, whispering like he was afraid to say the words at full volume. “Don’t you ever get tired?”
“Yeah,” Colt said. His throat grew tight. “But it’s preferable to the alternative. It’s preferable to being without you completely. If this is tiring, that’s just hell.”
“It is,” Jason agreed. “Are those always going to be the only two options