herself to remember that she hadn’t done anything wrong, that she wasn’t being accused of anything. ‘You left me that note.’
‘I’m the only person who can see you now, remember? I spotted you sneaking past Miss Jalloh. Figured I might be able to help. Tell me how it happened.’
It was still humiliating to tell the story of being chased off the Internet, that it could cause something like this, but Safa listened with rapt attention, nodding along seriously like it was a story she’d heard before.
‘I still thought it could all be in my head,’ Kat finished. ‘Until I saw you.’
‘Don’t get me wrong, when I first heard about the fade I thought it was a stupid rumour, or an urban legend,’ said Safa. ‘It had always happened to a friend’s boyfriend’s sister’s wet nurse or whatever. Too good to be true, you know? Then I found the blog, and that’s how I met somebody who swore down it happened to her ex-girlfriend after they broke up. I looked into it – nobody else remembered this girl at all, even people I know were her friends, unless I showed them pictures and made them remember. Even then, they just accepted that she was gone, no body or goodbye note, like it was the most normal thing in the world.’
Kat shivered, and decided to change the subject. ‘You don’t run the blog?’
‘I do now,’ said Safa. ‘It gets passed on to somebody new every time.’
‘If it’s happened to so many people, you must know what causes it.’
Safa moved away to lean against the sinks and Kat followed, worrying for a second that somebody could walk in before remembering it apparently wouldn’t matter. They could never have anything but total privacy.
‘It’s not like catching a cold,’ said Safa. ‘The nature of it means it’s difficult to pass along any concrete info. Best we know is that it seems to happen when somebody feels completely alienated by life. When they lose any tangible connection to themselves and the world. When they absolutely, positively don’t want to be here any more, at least as themselves. They just . . . break free. But not all at once. It’s like gravity stops applying to them, except instead of floating away they begin to fade.’
‘So the fade’s going to get worse?’ said Kat, voicing a fear she had before now tried to suppress. ‘Until I’m just gone?’
‘There’s more to it than that.’
Safa turned to study her reflection in the mirror. She looked at herself with relish, like she’d had a makeover and was admiring the results. It was enough to make Kat realise the truth.
‘You wanted this to happen. You’ve been trying to fade.’
‘I’ve been in the year below you for as long as I’ve been at this school. Safa Hargreaves. Did you know that?’
Kat wracked her brain, but she couldn’t ever remember noticing her. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘It doesn’t matter, I’m just proving my point. Fading into the background is what the Lonely People is all about.’ When Safa turned around, she was holding a tiny nesting doll locket that hung around her neck, rolling it gently between finger and thumb. ‘Let’s get out of here, it stinks.’
‘But—’
She took Kat’s hand again, and the ecstasy of being touched was too powerful to resist. ‘For the first time in your life you don’t need to hide.’
The corridor was quiet midway through final period, the only sound the muffled voices of orating teachers and unruly classes. As they passed a classroom Safa pushed open the door, hard enough for it to bash against the wall. Inside, the teacher frowned across but kept the rhythm of his ongoing lecture. Safa stuck her middle finger up at him and then laughed.
‘See?’
The school belonged to them, an alternative reality laid close over the one Kat thought she had known. It should have terrified her, but as Safa threw open another classroom door she felt – almost – in control. Almost safe.
Wesley was sure the equation in front of him was unsolvable, a jumble of numbers and letters selected specifically to make him feel like an idiot. He tried for a glimpse of his neighbour’s answers but found them similarly incomprehensible. Maths almost made him pine for that sad little candle flame of self worth that had flickered to life after waxing the car at the dealership, standing back to admire its shine.
His mind turned to Luke and Justin, no doubt sitting together in the upper-set classroom thanks to expensive tutoring and unexpected