hand lies on my chest, where my heart beats loud, tears welling in her eyes. “Even if I’m not here in person, I’ll always be here, Rai.”
I nod several times and hold on to her hand like it’s the only line I have in life. “You’ll be okay, Rei.”
She smiles, her nose twitching a little. “No. We will be okay.”
When I speak, my voice is barely a whisper, “I love you, Reina.”
“Love you, too, Rai.”
My eyes shoot open to be greeted by the darkness.
Deep, uncontrollable darkness.
I open my mouth to shriek, but no sound comes out. A heavy weight settles on my chest, shifting as if about to burst through.
That’s when I realize I’m not breathing. Nothing is suffocating my air, so why the hell am I not breathing?
Breathe.
Breathe.
“Reina!”
My lungs kick into gear at that voice. That low, firm voice with the slight huskiness.
A light illuminates the room and with it, my lungs regain their functions. I gasp for air as if I were drowning and now I’m finally seeing the surface.
Strong arms hold me in a steel-like cage as I breathe in and out.
Inhale. Exhale.
Sandalwood and citrus.
Asher.
My nails dig into the thin material of his T-shirt as I stare up at him. Blurriness still clouds my vision from the tears in the dream—or memory.
He watches me with an indecipherable expression. His thick brows furrow downward as his thumb strokes the skin of my belly where my top meets my shorts.
Up and down. Up and down.
The friction his touch creates is like a soothing lullaby. A reason to breathe. To remain here.
Asher must’ve showered because his hair is half damp, falling over his forehead in a perfect mess. With the bedside lamp on, the green of his eyes flickers to a darker color like the night or… the unknown.
Why do I keep gravitating toward the unknown? Is it the thrill? The feeling of having my will taken away?
True, that unknown keeps the gloomy cloud at bay. Asher’s presence, although not always pleasant, has been an anchor.
Something I can lean on, something I can watch and breathe.
“What was it?” he asks in that suspicious tone that he’s been using with me since I woke up in the hospital.
It’s like I breathe and he suspects I have an ulterior motive behind that.
“Reina.”
One word. It’s just one word, my name, but he says it with so much authority, so much power, my thighs quiver.
How would it feel like if he used that voice while he’s inside me and —
I internally shake my head. That’s a totally wrong image at this time.
“It was…” My voice comes out hoarse as if I’ve been shrieking at the top of my lungs. I clear my throat. “Just a dream.”
“What kind of dream?” His piercing gaze remains the same, hard and unyielding.
He’s not letting this go.
I lean my head further so it lies on his solid shoulder and I get a complete view of his features. Something has changed about them, they’re almost… softening.
There’s no trace of the Asher who only looked at me with pure hatred.
“It’s not important,” I say.
“Tell me and I’ll decide whether it’s important or not.”
“It doesn’t make sense, okay?” I sigh. “I was calling someone else Reina. It’s obviously some play of my subconscious.”
“Play of your subconscious,” he repeats with a neutral tone as if he’s feeling the words or trying to figure out why I said them.
His expression remains sealed for the most part, but his grip around me tightens a little. “What else happened?”
“The voice called me Rai and we promised each other things… I don’t know. I told you. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Have you had such dreams before?”
“Yeah. A few times.” I pause, squinting at the distance. “Now that I think about it, it was always like I was talking to myself.”
“Talking to yourself. Interesting.”
“Why? What do you think happened?”
The calculating streak rushes back to his features. “I’m piecing it together myself.”
“It doesn’t make sense, what’s there to piece?”
“Is that what you really think?”
I swallow the lump at the back of my throat. “I…don’t know.”
And I don’t want to know. Those dreams must be some cruel joke from my subconscious. Otherwise, things will turn for the worst.
That could mean I have a dissociative personality disorder or something. That’s the only explanation for the fact I talk to myself and have two names for me.
There’s also the possibility of a twin, but it’s null and void. I’ve been an only child my entire life.
The up and down of Asher’s thumb on