been able to sleep, knowing she was a short distance away, knowing that he could not see her, be near her after so long apart.
“Rixella,” he murmured, peering into her eyes, seeing his own reflected in her dark orbs. “I have been so worried.”
But his words conveyed nothing of what he’d felt since she was taken from his base. Not even close to the fear, the guilt, the horror, the rage.
Her own gaze shuttered closed and Jaxor retreated slowly, unease curling in his belly. With a glance at Vaxa’an, standing with his arms crossed over his chest in the corner of the room, he asked him, in Luxirian, “Can we have a moment in private?”
Vaxa’an blew out a sharp breath, but Jaxor was relieved when he inclined his head in a nod. “I will be outside the door.”
Then he left, leaving Jaxor alone with his mate. His mate, who would not quite meet his eyes.
“Erin,” he said. “Look at me.”
Dread was roiling in his belly like waves against a cliff, violent and cutting. But she did look at him, though it felt like she was far away.
“What is it?” he asked softly, pulling a chair up beside her bed so that their eyes were level. His chains clinked together as he did, drawing her attention to them.
“Did you ever care for me?” she asked, looking at the chains. “Or was it all a ploy to get me to trust you? I need to know and I need you to tell me the truth. For once.”
A ringing started up in his ears and Jaxor sat, frozen in place, staring at her in disbelief.
“Rebax?” he asked quietly, not entirely sure he’d heard her right.
Finally, her eyes connected with his and he held them fast, afraid she’d retreat again. “Am I really your mate?
Jaxor jerked, as if struck. “Of course you are. How can you even ask that?”
“I don’t have an Instinct. Not like you,” she murmured. “Maybe what I felt was just strong attraction. Nothing more. How could I be certain?”
He stood from the chair, his unease doubling. “What is going on, rixella?” he asked. “Why are you even saying these things?”
Her chin quivered. The first show of emotion from her. Whispering, she said, “Because you lied about everything else, didn’t you?”
Pain struck him in the chest, a desperate ache that spread and spread. He took her hands, gripping them tight, though the icy coolness of his chains made her flinch. At least, that was what he believed. Perhaps it was his touch that made her react.
Tavar.
“What did he tell you?” he rasped.
“Everything you wouldn’t,” she snapped, anger finally rising within her. Jaxor gave a helpless look at the monitors lining the walls, not wanting her to get upset. She was still recovering.
He cupped her cheek but she turned her face away.
“Don’t,” she whispered. “Just—just tell me. Once and for all.”
The truth.
Jaxor sank into the chair again. She wasn’t looking at him anymore. Her jaw was set, though her lips trembled slightly. He didn’t want to see her cry. He didn’t want to be the reason she cried.
“Ask me anything,” he finally said, his shoulders sagging. “Ask me anything and I will tell you the truth, however ugly it might be.”
He’d clearly lost her trust. She could barely look at him, so he guessed whatever Tavar had told her had cut her deeply.
She inhaled a long breath and then asked, “Am I your fated mate?”
“Tev. Of course,” he hissed out—the thought that she doubted that was physically painful. To think that he’d lied about something like that told him how little she thought of him now. What had happened at the Mevirax base?
She nodded, bringing him some semblance of relief. “And even though I was your mate, you were still thinking of handing me over to the Mevirax? Knowing what Tavar’s plan was? Knowing that in giving me to them, the Jetutians would come for me?”
A sharp inhale filled his lungs. His voice came out ragged when he replied, “At first, tev.” A sound escaped her and he raked a hand through his hair, needing her to understand everything that went through his mind. “But I would have never allowed you to leave with the Jetutians. That was never part of the plan.”
“So, what was I then?” she asked, her eyes shining with angry tears when she turned her face to regard him. “Bait? Bait, so that you could finally get your revenge after all these years?”
“It was more than revenge, luxiva.”
“Don’t,”