shopping with Tori and Brooklyn for my honeymoon, but now I just felt exposed. In fact, my entire suitcase was stuffed with sexy nothings, from lingerie to dresses to bathing suits. The black suit I was wearing technically covered everything, but looked held together with string. Still, it was the most modest one I had.
Cursing my past self for being so naïvely romantic and optimistic, I headed back out to the living room and told Ford I was ready. He was in nothing but swim trunks and sandals, and it took all my willpower not to drool all over myself at the sight of his already perfectly tanned, tight-abbed torso.
“Do you, umm, want to call Phillipe?” I asked. “To take us to the cabana?”
Ford shook his head. “Nah. We can do the cabana later. I just want to stroll for now.”
“Okay. Great.” But it wasn’t great.
At the cabana, I could read a book, drink a margarita, take a nap in my own chaise lounge a safe distance away from my half-naked, sexy-as-fuck new husband. Walking with Ford, though, there’d be nothing to keep me from clinging to his hand, feeling the warmth of his body next to mine, breathing him in, dreaming about throwing him down on the sand and climbing him like a tree. It would be torture.
We headed down to St. Jean’s, and from the sand I picked out a few kayaks and small yachts in the water, some windsurfers, boats taking people to snorkel. The boats were close enough that I could see more than one couple huddled against the rails together as they headed to where there was probably a gorgeous coral reef full of sea life. For a brief moment, I imagined Ford and me out there, just another happily married new couple on their honeymoon.
He’d make some raunchy joke about my snorkel, I’d hit him in the arm. He’d pretend to be a shark or something, tickling my feet while we were swimming around, I’d get back at him by putting my hand over the top of his snorkel. We’d steal kisses in the waves and climb out of the boat, wet and salty and hungry. But not for food. We’d rush back to our room, not even bothering to fully remove our swimsuits before he’d be fucking me against the door.
“Sunscreen?” Ford asked, breaking my reverie.
“What?” I’d barely heard him.
“You don’t want to burn up on your first day.”
“Right. Sure,” I said, digging around in my beach bag for the spray can of SPF 45 I’d picked up at the airport in St. Martin while Ford had been off exchanging dollars for Euros.
“Here, I’ll do it.”
He knelt and started spraying me, ankle to thigh, shoulder to wrist, my back and neck, stroking my bare skin in slow circles after each spray to rub it in. Standing still the whole time he massaged me under the thin fabric of my dress was a challenge, as was holding in my moans. I could feel myself getting wet. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was trying to seduce me right there on the beach.
Luckily, I was able to hide my blush beneath the wide brim of my straw sun hat.
We walked along the postcard-perfect beach, Ford pointing out the church built in 1855 and the lighthouse, as well as a few of the huge, free-roaming iguanas I’d read about. I couldn’t help wishing that we were actually enjoying the snorkeling and windsurfing going on all around us, rather than me spending my time with Ford secretly fantasizing about what could have been.
Since picnics were more common than restaurants that were open for lunch, we stopped at a small grocery store and bought a few things, packing a mix of cheeses, fruit, fresh bread, cold cuts, water, and wine into my beach bag for later.
“I have an idea,” Ford said, turning to me as we exited the shop.
Much to my surprise, he had a mischievous grin on his face. He’d barely smiled—really smiled—for most of the day. It was almost jarring to see it now.
“What kind of idea?”
He grabbed my hand. “Come on.”
Having no idea where this was all leading, I decided it would just be easier to go along with it than try to make sense of Ford’s changing mood.
It was a decision I regretted the moment we arrived at the Anse Grande Saline.
A nude beach.
“What do you think?” he asked, still wearing that grin.
I was speechless.
All around us were naked people. I