make her see. She couldn’t be more wrong.
There’s fuck-nothing repulsive here.
When I look at this woman, I see a chick who’s talented, kind, and just as hellbent on doing better as she is knockout gorgeous. Her beauty’s only rivaled by her will.
I see a chick who’s determined to un-fuck herself, to let that pretty light of her soul laser through this suffocating darkness. That’s her obsession, when she’s not running her mouth with nonsense, and it’s so sexy it hurts.
Hell, maybe I even see my self-destruction in the next kiss.
The one that’s coming, however hard I fight, but damn it straight to hell.
Maybe I’m done running from who I was, too. A man who shut himself off from a human connection with a woman for years because I fought too hard to avoid the darkness instead of confronting it head-on.
“Just let me go,” she whimpers, twisting in my arms.
“No. Not till you’re ready to listen,” I growl. “Give me ten seconds, Val. Look me in the goddamn eye.”
I should’ve seen it sooner, her turmoil tangled up in mine.
No, I couldn’t admit how hard it’s been, pushing her away. I didn’t want to dwell.
So I wait for those big gold eyes to fully connect with mine before I give her a big fat dose of real talk.
“There’s nothing bad about you, honey. Not a single thing. You’re human. You’ve got scars and shit to deal with, same as everybody else, but I don’t believe you ever set out to hurt anybody. No fucking way did you ever set yourself up for this mess. Stop blaming yourself for the crap hand you were dealt.”
“But my entire life, I just...I don’t even have any friends, Flint. Not real friends. When I log into my stuff, there’s nobody messaging me, nobody checking up, no old friends coming by to say 'hey, let’s catch up.’ People hate me.”
“Wrong.” I brush a finger across her cheek, wiping away a tear. “I don’t believe it.”
“I do, because I remember. It’s staring me right in the face.” She glances at Savanny, sitting on the lounger next to us, his whiskers twitching. “He’s all I’ve ever had.”
“Not anymore, babe. You’ve got me. You’ve got Bryce. Whatever else happens next, that won’t change.”
“Do I even deserve it?” she stammers, her lips trembling. “You don’t get it. My father spoiled me, Flint, just like my mother said. I never had to lift a finger. Life was easy and blind. If I asked for something, I got it. Even an illegal cat. I never questioned anything, and when I finally did, it was too freaking late. I didn’t care where things came from, or how much they cost, or—”
“But you did,” I tell her. “You questioned why Ray kept strong-arming you out of King Heron.”
Turmoil fills her face. “Only recently because—I wanted to know. And I couldn’t fathom anything like what I found. If I’d known there was an effing mafia involved, I might’ve just turned tail and ran. About the only thing I’ve ever been good at.”
I cup her cheek with my palm.
“It doesn’t matter,” I say. The respect I have for her, for what she’s gone through with grace and courage, surpasses what I’ve seen in plenty of others. She needs to get her mojo back, her confidence, and start believing in herself. “Doesn’t fucking matter one bit, honey. Not here in the present.”
“But it does,” she whispers, her eyes fluttering, pain chiseled into her face.
“Wrong again. It doesn’t matter worth a damn what you did or didn’t do before this. All that matters is what you’re doing about it now.”
“Doing about it?” Sadness fills her eyes as her head rolls from side to side. “Like I’m able to do anything. We just spent the whole morning with you and your friends figuring out my jam. I’m helpless.”
“Bullshit, Valerie, but thanks for proving my point.” I cup her other cheek, tracing her bones with my thumb. “You said you’ve got no friends. Woman, you have friends. I’m your friend, and I’ve got my friends by extension lined up, all willing to stick their asses out for you. Cash, Davis, and the rest of my boys aren’t doing shit because they owe me favors. They’re doing it for you. If you were this horrible shit of a person, nobody would. Nobody hates you.”
Her face tilts down. “You would if you knew the real me.”
My hand runs softly up her face, reaches around her head, and tangles in her hair. Then I