in low whispers. And I see the look on her face as my mother tears into the past and hands her my beating fucking heart.
Just like that, my ragey guilt turns into dread.
11
Old Confessions (Valerie)
I keep a smile on my face as we say bye to Bryce and Beverly, but I can’t stop the words she’d said from repeating in my head.
“Be patient with him,” Beverly whispered. “He doesn’t admit it, but Brina hurt him horribly. He’s just as scarred on the inside as his skin, after what that evil man did...”
There’s so much I don’t know, don’t remember, but I have to know more about this.
I wait until after they drive through the gate and we walk back inside.
“Your mom’s a lovely lady,” I say, searching for a way to my questions.
He closes the door and gives me a guarded look, his blue eyes flashing. “What’d she say to you, Val? For a second, it looked like you swallowed a toad.”
“Oh, uh, just something I wondered.” Dancing around a straight answer, I ask, “Was Bryce’s mother’s name Brina?”
“Yeah.” He runs a hand through his hair, clearly uncomfortable.
“Did you love her?” It just falls out. I’m still trying to process what Beverly said.
He lets out a long, slow sigh. “I should have. We made Bryce together, but...where the fuck do I begin?” He shrugs.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to dredge up bad memories,” I whisper. “It’s none of my business.”
“It’s fine. We’d known each other before I went into the service and hooked up when I was home on leave. Sometimes kids come when you’re not expecting them. Bryce was born while I was overseas, and I asked her to marry me. When I got out, after my old man died, I realized everything she’d told me was pure bullshit. And she had a bad habit of running herself into the ground, fucking around on me behind my back, drinking half the day. So I called off the wedding, and started proceedings to get full custody. She just fucking lied.”
I bite my lip. Bryce looks too much like him to be a lie, so I ask, “What was she lying about?”
“Not Bryce, he’s mine,” he says, almost reading my thoughts. “It was her life she lied about. Her habits. The money I constantly sent her went to drugs. Any rotten shit she could get her hands on. I’d already gotten custody of Bryce, but the night she died...” He shakes his head, his lip curled up in a silent snarl. “One of the worst nights of my life.”
“What happened?” I touch his arm, sensing the tension under his skin.
My heart aches, just seeing the look crossing his face, the agony he lived etched into every crease on his brow.
“Bitch was high, babe. She rolled her Jeep. I was at work, burning the midnight oil to get my security company off the ground so I’d be home during the day when she’d come and try to take Bryce behind my back. The police came to my jobsite, told me about the accident.”
I study Flint hard, my heart stopped in its tracks.
“They wanted to know if Bryce was with her. There was a kids’ seat in the car, some of his clothes, his toys. They were afraid he’d been thrown out when the vehicle rolled and couldn’t find him anywhere. He’d been with my ma, but I knew there was a chance Brina would’ve gone to my place and taken him if Ma got distracted. And she wasn’t answering her phone.”
Oh, God.
His voice simmers to a low, poison growl. “That hour, from the time when the cops questioned me on his whereabouts to the time I got home, holding him in my arms, was the longest fucking hour of my life.” He lets out a long sigh. “Turns out, Ma shut the ringer off on her phone because Brina kept calling nonstop. She was hard up for cash, money she owed another fucking dealer or some shit.”
My heart tightens in my chest. “Oh, Flint, that’s terrifying.”
“It was. The accident happened less than five miles from my place. I figured she was on the way there, to get Bryce. Thinking she could hold him hostage until I gave her more money or something. I don’t know. The coroner said her toxicology report was off the charts at the time of her death.”
“Is that why you moved here?” I ask, already understanding it’s just one of the many things he’s done to keep his son