let go of my arm as he led me around to the passenger side. “You’ve had a long day, it’s late, and I’ve upset you. Let me drive you home.”
He was right. It had been a long day and he had upset me. When he opened the car door, I climbed inside silently. There was no reason to argue. I wanted to be mad at him but it wasn’t working. He had been right about a few things. He was the one there to listen to me. Griff hadn’t had time, so I’d used Creed as a stand-in and he’d been such a good listener. He even remembered the name of the La Sconfitta.
I laid my head back on the seat and closed my eyes as he climbed in and started the car. I didn’t want to need Creed or enjoy him being around. It scared me. I’d loved him as deeply as a girl could love a boy once. So deeply I’d needed counseling when he was suddenly gone from my life. But I wasn’t a girl anymore. I was a woman and he wasn’t the boy I’d adored. Letting him get too close was reminding me of how I felt before and it was wrong.
“I like Griff. He’s a good guy,” Creed said, breaking the silence.
I kept my eyes closed and said nothing. I didn’t know what there was for me to say. I didn’t trust myself to verbalize all I was feeling.
“I just want you to be happy, Sailor.”
I opened my eyes then and turned my head to look at him. “What makes you think I’m not happy now?” I asked him defensively.
He let out a weary sigh and glanced at me then back at the road. “Because I know you. I know when you do that frown where the corner of your mouth turns down that whatever you’re thinking about is making you sad. I know that when your eyes twinkle, you are trying not to laugh. I know that you scrunch your nose and shake your head when you don’t want someone guessing the truth,” he paused and looked at me again. “I fucking know you.”
My eyes filled with unshed tears and when I blinked, a tear broke free and I quickly wiped it away. Why was he doing this? My heart wasn’t ready to hear this. I loved Griff and I thought I was whole, but my heart was definitely still damaged from Creed. He was hurting me with every word. I turned away from him and wiped more tears that silently fell.
We pulled into my driveway and I was tempted to jump out of the car and run before the car came to a complete stop. I would likely end up breaking a leg, putting me back in the car with Creed as he took me to the hospital. When the car did come to a stop, I didn’t jerk open my door and run either. I calmed myself before opening the door and getting out.
I didn’t look back at Creed as I walked to my back door, and when I finally reached it, I knew he wasn’t following me. I glanced over my shoulder then to see where he was and I saw his back as he walked across the yard toward his house. I should go inside. Let this night end and hopefully the emotions his words had stirred would end too.
“He saved me,” I called out into the darkness. “I was a broken mess and Griff saved me,” I added, wishing I would shut up, but my mouth was taking over. Creed turned then and looked at me. I couldn’t see his face in the darkness but I knew he could see me from the porch light. “I loved you. I loved you so much it destroyed me. Losing you shut me down, my life no longer felt worth living. The darkness that surrounded me after what you did to me was so bad I didn’t recognize myself anymore. I found her too. I was there too! I loved her too.” I stopped then and choked back a sob. I was stronger now. I needed to say this. He needed to hear it. “Griff helped me heal.” I added loud enough for him to hear me. Griff had been there when no one else had and his light had been what gave me life again. I didn’t stand there and look out into the darkness toward him any longer. I’d