for me.
“Oh, uh, yeah, well you know Creed,” I finally replied after a pause. Why was I covering for his lies? I was, though, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth. What was wrong with me? I needed therapy again. That was it.
“He’s a good guy who loves women but you know that. You’ve been his Sailor Moon forever,” she said with a bright smile. “Well, I’m headed to the spa. I need a massage and some relaxation. I’ll see you around. We can do tea one afternoon,” she said, looking excited about the idea. I didn’t share in her excitement.
“Okay, yeah.” I managed to agree as she turned and hurried back across the yard in her high heeled knee-high leather boots. Which I had to admit were kind of fabulous.
Opening my door, I went inside and realized then that I was frozen. It was below freezing today and I’d just been forced to stand out in it. Hurrying to the fireplace, I hoped it would light quickly. Sometimes it did and sometimes it didn’t. Today was going to be one of those difficult days where I struggled and cursed the cold.
Just before I gave up and went to light the wooden stove in the kitchen, the fire took and I sighed in relief. I was tempted to go get my electric blanket and wrap it around me and my coat. First, though, I went to get my phone and sent my first text to Creed.
“Did you tell Rachel we were sex buddies?” I was getting angry again just thinking about it as I hit send. There was no reason to lie about something like that and it was embarrassing for me. I was not and would never be one of Creed Sullivan’s many females. The idea was insulting.
“No. She assumed it. Why? Did she come visit?”
I read the text and immediately replied. “Why didn’t you clarify the situation? Why let her think that?” Was he so desperate to get away from her, he couldn’t take five minutes to tell her we were just friends? No sex involved.
My phone rang then and I saw Creed’s name. Frustration about his lie and Griff not coming to the party tonight snowballed.
“You’re an ass, Creed Sullivan. I do not want to be one of your many females. I don’t like someone thinking that I would be okay as your fuck buddy. It’s insulting. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was to listen to your cousin tell me how she hoped we could evolve into more because of our history?” Okay, now I was fuming. The more I talked the louder I got.
“I didn’t mean it that way. She asked who I was taking the chowder to and I told her it was you. She remembered Cora talking about you…and me before. She thought we were back together and I didn’t want to give her your life details, so I said no, we were just friends. She assumed you were like my other female friends or fuck buddies as you call them. I didn’t correct her. I just got out of the house. My staying the night didn’t help. I will make sure she knows the truth. I’m sorry, Sailor.”
That all made sense but I wasn’t done being mad. I wasn’t sure I was even mad at him anymore but I was just mad. “Fine! You do that!” I said too loudly then hung up. Staring at my phone, I burst into tears and threw it down on the sofa.
The tears started slow at first, then I was bent over in a full-blown bawl. I missed Griff. I missed being with him. I missed the fun we had together. I was almost positive he didn’t miss me. He didn’t act like he missed me and it hurt. I kept thinking we would get settled into a routine and be able to see each other more, but every day that passed that he didn’t make it to see me, I began to fear we never would.
Backing up I sat down on the coffee table and held my head in my hands and cried until my tears dried up. All the pent up frustration, anger, anguish, and fear that I had been ignoring broke free. Missing what Griff and I had in Nashville, accepting the fact Creed was now back in my life, not feeling as if I belonged anywhere, it all had become too much. Pretending I was okay wasn’t