It was as if he was drowning in their blue color, one that reminded him of warm summers and sweet air. He studied her mouth, the one he’d kissed a thousand times before. Her lips were still as plump and luscious as he’d remembered. He could almost feel them beneath his own, taunting and tantalizing him.
“I’m the one to decide whom Christa marries. I’m not going to object anymore to what they want.” She studied her clasped hands, then slowly lifted her gaze to his again. “If you believe that Harry’s future can support Christa as his wife, then I have no objections. But first, I want you to hear my side of the argument. Then you can tell me if you still believe that Harry should marry my sister.”
“All right,” he said cautiously. “I am anxious to hear your explanation. Do you want to have this conversation downstairs? It was impetuous of me to have knocked on your door. I apologize for the intrusion.”
“No. I think this is the perfect spot for our talk. If we’re in this bedroom, no one will disturb us. I don’t want anyone to overhear what I have to say.” She smiled tentatively.
Immediately, he seemed wary. “I’ve never seen you so unsure of yourself. What could you possibly say that would change my mind about those two? Why the change?”
“A great deal,” she answered. “I owe you the truth. I also owe you an apology.”
Chapter Nine
This was one of the hardest things Nell had ever done. She had never been very good at apologizing, as she always seemed to say the wrong things. But this time, she vowed to get her confession perfect. She had so much to say, and only prayed that James would allow her to say her full apology before he left in disgust.
“Shall we sit?” She waved a hand toward a small sitting area close to the fire.
“That’s perfect.”
Fully expecting him to walk before her, James surprised her. His warm hand enveloped hers, then he tugged her gently to follow him. Instead of sitting in the two chairs that faced each other. James led her to the sofa in front of the fire.
“This is more intimate.” He smiled gently as he waited for her to sit. As soon as she was settled, he sat beside her. “We can keep our voices lowered, and no one will hear. Unless you start shouting.”
“I have no desire for anyone to hear what I have to say.” She tangled her fingers together in an effort to keep her emotions contained.
“You do that when you’re nervous.” James put his hand over hers and squeezed. “It’s all right, Nell. I won’t bite you.”
She lifted her gaze to his. The earnest warmth reflected on his face was enhanced by the glow of the fire kissing his cheeks. God, it would be so easy to lean over and press her lips against his. It would feel as if she had returned home after a long trip. She let out a breath and prayed her explanation and apology would be enough to earn his forgiveness.
“I’m sorry I left you.” They both knew what she was talking about; her refusal to marry him. His eyes instantly became hooded as if protecting himself. Slowly, she tangled their fingers together. “I had no choice.”
“There was always a choice, Nell,” he said softly.
“No. Not for me.” She bit her lower lip, the pain a welcome distraction from the hurt that seemed to consume her heart. “When I returned home that last day we were together, there were several strange men in my home. They were taking...portraits from the walls and drapes from the windows. My father was waiting for me. My mother was in hysterics.” A tear slipped, and before she could wipe it away, James did the honor for her.
He placed his other hand beneath her chin and gently tilted it so he could see her better. “Why?”
“That day I found out that my mother had...had made us all destitute with her vices.” Her voice grew so soft she could barely hear her own words. She cleared her throat determined to tell the sordid tale. “She gambles to excess and spends every extra penny on clothes and jewels.”
“I had no idea,” James brow furrowed into neat lines. When they discussed their plans for their future all those years ago, he’d treated her with concern and gentleness much as he did now. He was listening carefully to her.
“Christa’s dowry and mine? All spent.