smile.
I’m embarrassed that I first told him I was busy and then suggested the exact time and location he said originally when he told me it was my call, so I just cut to the chase. “I said yes.”
“You said yes to a date for tonight that was asked today?” Kat asks with a raised brow. Yup, she’s just like me.
“I did,” I answer slowly as Sue claps her hands and leans her head back with laughter. She’s so loud that a few customers in line at the counter look back at her.
“I love her. This is just too good to be true.” Sue’s smile just gets bigger and bigger until she spots the last tiny cupcake.
“I know how it sounds but I told him no at first, and then he said he was available whenever I was ready.”
“So then you said yes.” Kat nods her head and I nod in return. I can see the wheels spinning.
“I want to go out and see him again. It’s that simple.”
Kat hums, her eyes narrowing like she’s thinking far too hard, biting her tongue, or both. She finally settles on her response, asking, “So you like him?”
She’s awarded another nod from me as I say, “I do. At least I like the way he makes me feel.”
There’s another hum from her and Sue shakes her head, opting to finish her drink rather than contribute to the conversation.
“You have fun tonight,” Sue says with a wink. I give her a small smile back and kiss her cheek before she leaves us so she can get to her meeting on time.
Maddie’s not coming to this little cupcake brunch so it’s just me and Kat now. I don’t like the feeling that I need armor to have a quick chat with one of my closest friends. I bite the inside of my cheek as I watch Sue leave, the bells hanging above the door ringing as I shift on the stool.
“Kat, look—”
“Nope,” she says and holds up her hand. “It’s fine. Last night was fine. Tonight is fine.” Her eyes are closed as she speaks. She nods her head as if she’s convincing herself, moving the purse from on top of her stool to the one Sue was sitting on. She has to shift in her seat to tug down her black pencil skirt. Her white blouse is nearly see through, but she still resembles the epitome of professionalism. She’s always put together and on top of everything.
“I know last night isn’t something you would do,” I start to say and Kat nods slightly. “I know it upset you for me to leave and not tell you.” I lean forward, putting my hand on the table, closer to her.
“I think I overreacted,” Kat blurts out before I can say anything else. She doesn’t meet my gaze at first, but then she lifts her eyes to mine. “It really is okay, all of it, and I’m not trying to make you feel bad.” Her words come out with sincerity and it surprises me how much I needed that. “Or slut-shame you or anything like that. I’m happy that you’re happy. I’m just nervous that he’s taking advantage of you, or that you’re going to get hurt …” I brace for what I know is coming as she lowers her voice and says, “You know, so soon after everything.”
“I know. Thank you.” My voice cracks some and I look for my glass, but then find it empty. I run my fingertips down the stem, feeling overwhelmed again with a mix of emotions.
Guilt comes out to play more than the rest. It’s not her making me feel guilty. It’s the thought that I should still be mourning.
“Am I a bad person?” I ask Kat, finally pulling my eyes from the empty flute to her.
“No,” she answers with sad eyes, taking my hand in both of hers. “I didn’t mean to make you think that—”
“You didn’t,” I say and wave her off the path she’s going down. “I was just thinking this morning … about …” About Jace. I don’t say it out loud.
“Just tell me that he’s not going to make you miss your deadline.” Kat deflects, sidestepping this conversation and creating an out for me. God, I love her. She’s my editor and this manuscript is due in two weeks.
A smile grows on my face, but it’s not genuine in the least. Not because of Kat or Mason or any of that. It’s the use of the