if you want to think about it that way, and we carried power no one could comprehend until it was pushing them towards death. Our uniqueness was what built our reputation quickly. Soon enough, we were rich, and it wouldn't be long before we could finally find a place of our own and just do what we wanted."
He stared at my fingers once more, and I could see the sadness well up in his eyes.
"I was working my ass off to make Mihkel proud. For him to be protected and soon, to have the ability to do whatever he wanted. I was so lost in my desire that I didn't notice his decline. I didn't grasp the signs until he couldn't handle my change anymore. I'd cloaked my hands in too much blood, and I guess...I was no different from my father. No different from the man who placed us in our horrendous predicament, and maybe he ultimately feared I'd die just like Father and leave him behind with nothing."
He shrugged as a single tear left his eyes once more.
"Mikhel's suicide wasn't necessarily his decision," Dimitris whispered. "The night he died, he'd been walking through a forest, one that resembled the one you and Saint were in. They call it Suicide Forest because the suicide counts in those depths are unimaginable. Every state has one, and sadly, my Mihkel stumbled upon ours."
He closed his eyes and squeezed my hand as he muttered, "Those blood roses are the reason for the high rates. Their scent permeates the forest at a certain time every night, and it lures those with the darkest set of thoughts during that prime moment. They have no clue it's happening because they're lost in their own crumbling sadness, and it's not until they kill themselves that they realize their blood is seeping into the soil and feeding those very flowers, and that they died in vain. That their desire to die wasn't strong enough to finish the deed without assistance, and though they got exactly that, they all regret it. Every single one."
My heart dropped as I recalled years ago when I'd landed in that forest and met the food stand man who listened to all my troubles. I was desperate to be heard and was just tired of life, and he most likely saved me from that very fate.
"Seeing that you could have gone down that same path frightened me," he admitted. "Deep down, I knew Saint wouldn't eat your soul. The type of wolf he carries eats souls when he triggers his dark side. The problem with that is that he can only eat the souls of those who have inflicted pain upon him. An enemy who has every intention of killing him. A woman who fakes being in love with him for money. Anyone who carries the intention of hurting him can have their soul eaten by that dark side of his, but it doesn't mean he doesn't mind having a mere taste. Everything from that to the worry and tension from the others, and then Onyx's obvious jealousy??t was just fucking with me. It's just too overwhelming and I just need a moment to fucking breathe."
"And a nap," I suggested with a slight smile.
He actually pouted, which was so fucking cute, and I leaned in and very lightly kissed him. "I've known many Alphas in my life. Many men who flaunted their power and massive packs and demanded the world to respect them, but you're the only Alpha I can confidently say this to," I began in firm seriousness. "I respect you, Dimitris. The sacrifices you make for your pack without us realizing it, the sleepless nights you spend to make sure no one fucks shit up for us during the day, the long hours, the lack of meals, the various business moves, and the check-ins to make sure no one betrays us behind our backs is so much work. I may have been born with the genetic power of an Alpha, but you inspire me to be more observant. To yearn for better and gain more knowledge about each of you. It's a long fucking road, but I want to learn to be a better Beta so I can be there for you. So that I can back you up when you need a damn break."
I paused to basically sum it up. "I guess I want to make sure I'm there for you through thick and thin. But I need you to