Wings of the Walker - CoraLee June Page 0,182

guess I just wanted to know what it felt like to fix something. When you were brought to the lab unconscious, it was terrible. I was stuck here while you suffered. It’s the same way I felt when my parents…" Maverick trailed off, and I watched his expression slip into helplessness.

"Your mother didn't just allow your father to suffer alone, she joined him. She embraced his fate, and in a way, I can see why you've done this. You've quite literally taken on my pain and suffering—possibly even my death.” I let out a slow exhale full of fear. “I can't fault you for that. It’s hard to believe or accept that anyone actually loves me that much."

Maverick untwined our fingers, then tentatively rested his palm on my knee, easing it up my thigh. I scooted closer to him so that our legs touched. While leaning on his shoulder, I wrapped my arms around him and held on tightly. We both stared at the matching fetters on our wrists while silently worrying over what would become of us.

"I just want us to survive together,” I said softly. “And if you did this to reconcile some of what she did, I understand. I forgive you. But I'm allowed to be angry, too. These feelings aren't one-sided. I'd do anything to make sure all of you are safe. Even if that means I'm not."

Maverick let out a dark chuckle. It lacked humor and restraint. "I guess we're all martyrs, then. When did we all become so quick to jump in front of death for one another?" Maverick asked.

Chapter Thirteen

The next day, we watched from the lab's windows as Cavil and his men traveled down the street in their sleek, black transports. They had their windows down so they could wave at pedestrians as they went. I couldn't see his expression, but I could feel his confidence. I wanted to feel relief at his departure but couldn't. Cavil would be back. We were working on stolen time.

I wondered how Josiah was. I knew giving Cavil a false lead was not only dangerous, but it cost him. I shuddered to think of the torture he endured.

Last night, I kept mostly to myself. Although I was worried about Maverick, I still needed time to process the pain I endured, as well as all the feelings that kept being dug up while here in Ethros. I used to think life in Stonewell manor was bad, but being here made me realize that Josiah protected me from a lot of the evils of the world. Even though our situation wasn't ideal, it was a lot better than what many other Walkers had to experience.

The guys crowded me, I sensed their need to be near, but I needed space to process it all. They were used to leaning on one another when times got tough, but I'd spent a lifetime in solitude, relying on myself and internalizing my process for coping. I'd never shared my pain with another person, let alone six, and it was too much to handle.

I openly gaped at Maverick's efficiency and emotionlessness. I felt uncomfortable with how detached he was becoming but didn't know how to bridge the disconnect and find the Maverick I once knew. Both he and Allaire dove into work, Allaire acting like a dutiful soldier as they worked through the puzzle of the disease.

After the excitement ended, Jules disappeared. She fought with Cyler for a good hour, but he eventually accepted defeat and let her go. I understood the need to feel less restricted, but I simply didn’t have the motivations to go outside and risk running into Blan or Webb again.

I spent most of the day lingering in the lab, watching Maverick. I made sure he wasn't pushing himself too hard, not that he'd let me intervene, regardless. I couldn't help but become consumed with observing him while secluding myself in the corner. Watching him felt compulsive almost.

The others seemed tentative around me. Each of them lingered but didn't cross what felt like an invisible barrier between us. It felt like we didn't know how to proceed. I knew what I wanted, but felt too damaged to reach out and grab it. It was Cyler that pushed past my barriers and approached me. He didn't seem to feel stuck in the limbo of doubt I created by secluding myself. He brought my lunch and massaged my shoulders while I ate. Still feeling stiff and sore, I stood while shuffling