I've got nothing. Just leave me alone, okay?"
She leaned forward until her face was almost over her knees.
I counted to ten.
It didn't help.
"Get up." My own voice sounded strange. "Come on."
I grabbed Allison's upper arms and lifted her to her feet. She was heavy - not dead weight, but her bones seemed to be lead. I had to use most of my strength to keep her from twisting out of my grip. Finally she succeeded and pulled away. She stood there, weteyed, rub bing the white stripes on her arms where my fingers had been. "You fucker."
"I don't appreciate the selfpity. It's not going to get us anywhere."
"Just get out, Tres. You hear me? I used to think you were all right."
She glared at me, willing me away, but the anger was unsustainable. She took a long shaky breath and looked around at the boxes again, the roll top desk, the blank walls.
Finally he sank back down onto the bed.
"I'm so tired," she murmured. "Just go away."
"Let's get you out of here. Let's do something constructive."
She shook her head apathetically. When I sat next to her, Allison leaned against me - nothing personal, just like I was a new wall.
"I'm moving home to goddamn Falfurrias," she said. "Can you believe that? This house can buy me about six of the nicest houses down there. I can raise cows. Listen to crickets at night. Isn't that insane?"
She looked up at me. Her eyes were watery.
"I'm the wrong person to ask."
She laughed the word shit. "You never give me a goddamn straight answer, do you?
Where is Miranda?"
"Staying safe."
"In your apartment? Sharing that little futon?"
"No. Not with me."
Allison looked at me uncertainly. She heard the finality and the edge of bitterness in my voice and she didn't know quite what to do with it. She started to get up but I held her shoulder, not forcefully.
I'd like to say that from there events took their own course and I was caught by surprise. But they didn't and I wasn't.
I kissed her.
For once Allison SaintPierre didn't put up a fight. She eased into the kiss with a kind of exhausted relief.
After a long time she leaned back into the bed and I went with her. She bit and kissed and breathed in my ear as I tried futilely to work the first button on the massive white dress shirt until she laughed and whispered, "Forget it."
She sat up just enough to get the shirt off overhead. Then she pressed against me again and felt twice as warm, almost feverish. Her back was all goose bumps.
We rolled around on Les SaintPierre's bed and with each new angle the most exposed piece of clothing was kicked or pulled or cursed away. I think Allison stopped crying by the time the clothes were all gone. Her skin was uncomfortably hot except for her fingers. Those were icecold.
There was some unstated agreement that this love making would require nonstop movement, not necessarily frenzied but definitely continuous. Stopping would lead to thinking and thinking would be bad. We took turns crushing each other into the slick, uncomfortably bumpy surface of the mattress, little pinprickers of rayon stitching needling us in our backs. The room was air conditioned but we quickly became sweaty and noisy until the sounds became an uncontrollable cause for the giggles and then almost as quickly stopped mattering. We rolled a little too far, off the side of the bed. I remember something about a pain in my elbow but that didn't matter much either. We readjusted and sat facing one another, Allison's chin at the level of my mouth and her feet curled against the small of my back. Allison hugged me very tight with her arms and legs and buried her face in my neck and trembled quietly, as if she were crying again. I inhaled sharply and joined her and my body didn't know to stop the movement until Allison's muffled voice spoke into my neck. "Please - okay. Okay."
We stayed still then, feeling each other breathe until the rhythm of our lungs slowed and the hardwood floor began to feel uncomfortable. Our skin separated in places like candle wax being peeled away.
Allison smushed her nose against my cheek and rubbed around until her lips connected with mine. When I kissed her the second time I kissed teeth.
"When you say 'let's do something constructive,' Mr. Navarre - "
"Shut up."
She laughed, pulled her face away, and cupped my ears lightly with her fingers. "Didn't