about my personal identity than ever before.”
She paced in small lines, back and forth, her arms crossed over her chest. “Doesn’t that trump the whole gray thing? Isn’t that some sort of power that you can draw from to help you?”
I wished it was that simple. I really did. “What I am underneath, it’s got nothing to do with this. It’s like they’re separate things. Who my real parents are isn’t going to make anything easier.”
Her skin had paled to a ghostly white. “And now Stephen wants you to infect me.”
I pulled my knees up to my chest and started to rock myself. My mind flashed back to kissing Colin in the hall, how I’d had zero control then when I’d always been able to stop myself before. What happened to Stephen—it was going to happen to me. Soon. Or I was going to drop dead like that woman in the street the other night who’d disintegrated before my very eyes.
“I don’t know how long I can deal with this, Jordan. I’m losing it. It’s scaring the hell out of me.”
She got to her feet and took a couple steps closer to me. Before I knew it I’d risen to my feet as well, unconsciously drawn to her soul.
“You’re not kissing me,” she said uneasily, holding up her hands to try to keep me back.
“Trust me, Jordan, you’re the last person on earth I’d ever want to kiss. And it’s not just because you’re a girl. I’m sure Stephen would rather change you himself, but if he kisses you he’ll—” I swallowed hard. “He’ll kill you.”
“Stephen...” she whispered, then shuddered. “Have you kissed anyone?”
I nodded. “Two.”
“And did you kill them?” she asked breathlessly.
“Not yet.”
She started to tremble. “Oh, my God. This isn’t happening.”
My vision was narrowing by the second. Jordan had stepped away from me, but the scent of her soul was driving me crazy. I watched her like a wolf might watch a small, scared rabbit in the forest.
She attempted to look brave and assured. “Just...try to control yourself. You’re stronger than this!”
My thoughts were spinning away from me like the tornado in The Wizard of Oz. I tried to grasp onto them before they all blew away. Then something important occurred to me. “Wait. I wasn’t hungry when I was unconscious. It’s only when I’m awake.”
Her eyes were wild, panicked. “You want me to knock you out?”
I nodded crazily. “Do it.”
And then Jordan disappeared and all I could see was her soul—shiny and tempting. The cure to my pain, the answer to my hunger. She scrambled for something as I drew closer, closer. Then I grabbed her shoulder, my right hand still useless, and pulled her closer.
She screamed, and swung something toward me.
Sharp pain slammed through my head as she successfully rendered me unconscious.
* * *
My head was screaming when I woke up this time. But along with the pain, a shaky clarity had returned.
My hunger, however, hadn’t gone anywhere.
“If I hit you again you’re going to get a concussion,” Jordan warned. “A fractured skull. Or a clot. Or an aneurism. Or...something really bad!”
I groaned, and looked across the room at her crouched in the opposite corner, clutching the brick tightly. “Or maybe I’ll get amnesia and forget all about this.”
The pinprick of light through the tiny window told me it was still day—but the sunlight was fading. I hadn’t been out for long this time. One of the fluorescent lights set into the ceiling flickered now, as if ready to go out completely. It cast spooky shadows through the room.
“He hasn’t checked on us again,” she said, casting a furtive glance at the door.
“He will.”
“When?”
“When it’s done. When you’re changed. When I’ve...fed.” The words tasted as bad as they sounded. There was a security camera up in the far corner I hadn’t noticed before. I gestured at it. “He’s watching us.”
Jordan moved into the camera’s line of sight and gave it the finger. “Screw you, Stephen! I hate you for this!”
“Ditto,” I murmured, then cringed. “Ow, my head.”
Her expression now was fierce and determined. Her anger toward Stephen had given her some extra strength. “Stay right where you are. I’ll use this again.”
I flicked a wary glance at her and her brick. “Feel free. But that’s only a temporary answer. My hunger...it’s worse than ever. I need to feed.”
“Not on me.”
“I don’t think there’s going to be a choice soon. If I go into stasis here...a brick’s not going to stop me.” I fought to come up