see him smile. “I can manage. Have you already eaten?” he asked and sat against the headboard, with the curtains still covering the window behind him.
“Just had coffee. You’re the one who needs energy to recover.” Radek passed him the tray.
Yev swallowed, watching the food for the longest moment. “Thank you,” he said in the end and patted the space next to him.
Radek sat closer, but then changed his mind altogether and slipped under the comforter. He put his cheek on Yev’s shoulder, clinging to him when his lover didn’t push him away. “I’m so sorry, Yev,” he choked out. “There’s no way I can fix what happened but no matter how much I turn it around in my head, I know you would have still had your family if I wasn’t there.”
Yev’s brows lowered, his forehead wrinkled. Worms were already eating at Radek’s insides by the time Yev looked at him. “It’s not your fault.”
“Only that it is. I stabbed him. I stabbed a person. Your brother. Maybe if I hadn’t, the fight would have resolved differently, but there were two of them, and I couldn’t just stand by and watch.” He hunched his shoulders, losing all appetite at the memory of sizzling flesh, of Yev ripping at Burian's throat with the monstrous claws. But even though he hadn't been the one to kill Yev's brother, he couldn't wash away the guilt of taking part in the murder, no matter how much he scrubbed his skin clean of blood.
Yev swallowed, his steel-colored gaze pinning Radek like a sword. “They both wanted to kill me. The fight would have ended in bloodshed one way or another. Once they shifted, that much was decided.”
Radek could barely swallow a gulp of air, but despite all the guilt twisting up his insides, he longed for Yev’s closeness and hugged him. “They wouldn’t have attacked you in the first place if I wasn’t there. How can you ever forgive me?”
Yev went quiet, but he did put his arm around Radek, and they both stared at the cooling eggs. His heart beat so strongly.
Thump-thump.
Thump-thump.
Thump-thump.
Yev cleared his throat. “You didn’t force me to do anything. They’d have let you go. It was my choice to stay.”
“Your father said I’d leave you. I won’t. No matter what. You know that, right? I’m already planning to sell my apartment in Cracow.” Radek was desperate for Yev to know his sacrifice hadn’t been for nothing, but he couldn’t help feeling that he’d destroyed Yev's life by choosing him.
Yev smirked and gently petted Radek’s shoulder. His jaw went a bit tense though, and he rested his cheek against Radek’s head. “We’ll do our best to make it work. But you didn’t understand him. It was a cruel thing to say, but he could be right that we can’t be true mates. The Moon-Eyed God knows, I tried,” Yev whispered, pulling Radek closer, until they settled into the tightest hug.
Radek frowned, but worried over his breakfast going to waste he grabbed the fork with some egg scooped and lifted it to Yev’s mouth. “Why can’t we? Because we’re gay? Because I don’t make babies? Ridiculous.”
Yev accepted the food and chewed on it, his gaze searching Radek’s eyes. “I tried to mark you with my scent. But I was never successful. It only lasts for a bit, and then passes. I don’t know why. I don’t know if it’s magic, biology, or if that’s what the Moon-Eyed God wants, but that’s the way it is. It’s hard to explain when you’re not a werewolf, but when we choose a mate, the bond lasts forever, and all other werewolves can smell it when people belong to one another. You never want anyone else, and your mate doesn’t either. You’re bonded for life. But humans don’t work that way. They cheat, get bored, and leave one another,” Yev whispered and looked away, swallowing his food with a loud gulp.
Radek’s heart picked up pace at the thought of a bond so permanent. One in which he would be so ultimately secure. But trusting Yev was just as easy, and he craved to offer him the same sense of security. “I won’t. I’m yours. Tell me about this purification thing,” he whispered, unable to keep the tremble out of his voice.
Yev exhaled and pressed his lips to Radek’s forehead. “I believe you. But other werewolves will not, unless they can tell by scent that we belong together. It’s a lifelong bond, like I told you, but