sudden worry that Burian might have stalked him, he tightened his hold on the silver dagger, ready to pull it out of the hilt.
But nothing happened.
Despite the ache in his leg, Radek sped up, trying to convince himself his brain had just played a trick in him, and he’d feel much safer once he caught up with Emil. He broke into a jog. Emil must have heard him, because he turned the flashlight in Radek’s direction.
“Who’s there?” he asked, squinting to see in the dark.
“It’s me,” Radek said and wouldn’t stop until he caught up with Emil and hugged him. A sob left his throat at the relief of being with someone who cared for him. Even if there was a side of Radek he could never reveal.
Adam’s scent lingered in the air, but he didn’t care that Emil’s almost-husband might see his breakdown and wept, face buried in Emil’s jacket. Emil must have understood Radek wasn’t going to move away, because he rested his arms around him and slowly stroked his back. He smelled of rice, which he must have had for dinner, and of dried flowers, and wood, and Radek just wanted to hide under his arm forever.
“What happened? Are you okay?” Emil asked.
“No,” Radek choked out, holding on to Emil tighter. “I came out to my mom, and she hates me, and I broke up with Yev because he wants to go back to Ukraine soon and leave me anyway.” And I shift into a fox, but I can’t say that. Not to you, not to anyone but Yev.
“Shit,” Emil whispered. “Do you want to come over to ours?” he asked, already pulling Radek toward his home.
Radek looked around. He could have sworn he’d seen something move at the edge of the forest. “Is Adam home? I’m such a mess…”
Emil cleared his throat and draped his arm across Radek’s shoulder, leading him along the edge of the snow-covered field. Bits of dirt peeked from the white shell of frosty snow, which creaked under their weight as they followed a path that seemed to feature two sets of footprints heading the other way. But maybe one of the tracks was old? After all, it hadn’t snowed in a while.
“He’s spending the night at his aunt’s an hour from here. We’ll be alone tonight,” Emil told him, as they followed the spooky trail lit only by the flashlight.
“I shouldn’t have told her I’m gay. This is a fucking disaster.” Radek shook his head, leaning into Emil’s hug. He knew this man so well, so intimately. They might not have been lovers anymore but their bond was just as important. He never understood why so many people dismissed friendship as being somehow less meaningful than romance. Unlike lovers, real friends stayed with you for life, because their attachment was based in something less fickle than hormones and desire.
As evidenced by Yev so easily rejecting him in favor of his backward family.
Emil exhaled, adjusting his woolen hat. “I mean... there’s never a good moment. Maybe it’s for the better she knows. You know I never told my granddad, and I’m still wondering whether he’d have accepted me.”
Radek nodded, wondering what his dad would have said if he’d known. Probably something along the lines of Cracow having spoiled him. Or that he was confused and they’d deal with it. Because Dad had always seen the best in him even when Radek had acted like a spoiled brat.
“I just don’t know what to do anymore. She hates everything I do.”
“Maybe try thinking of a compromise? I know you don’t like those,” Emil said with a chuckle, “but think about it. Maybe you could give way in something to soften her?”
“Like what? Let the fur farm work as usual? Be less gay? Grow my arm back so that I can take care of her more easily? It feels like too much. Like I can’t get a break. All my friends are out there, partying, and I’ve got this mountain of responsibilities. Sometimes, I wish I could just leave it all behind, pretend it’s not there and go to Cracow.”
Emil sighed but pulled away to get keys when they approached the door to his house. “I’m here.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Radek said quickly and rubbed his eyes. He couldn’t even make his friend feel that he was important.
“I know, because I know you. You mean well, and you’ll get the hang of it. It’s growing pains,” Emil said and pressed a quick kiss to