night. It is knowing that I have come very close to losing her. I might still lose her. She is talking to me now, her hands gentle as she guides me into the shower, but I am utterly aware that we are fragile in this moment.
One wrong move and she will scurry away from me forever.
It makes me hold my tongue. I am wary of saying the wrong thing, so perhaps I should say nothing at all. She is right to be angry at me. I have withheld big secrets because I knew she would not like them. For her to find out from Bethiah instead of me has wounded her. It is only because of her kind and loving spirit that she is with me right now.
I watch her as she soaps up a washcloth, her movements brisk and determined. Even though she was freshly bathed and dressed, she has removed her clothes and joined me in the shower. When she reaches out to scrub my chest, I hold still for her ministrations.
“I know I said some strongly worded things, Nassakth. It was a little shocking to hear everything you were telling me. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.” The soapy cloth moves over my chest and across my arms, and her movements are brisk, not sexual. She washes me with fierce determination, as if concentrating on cleaning me somehow gives her strength. “It’s just…here’s the thing. You’ve been pushing me to trust you, and then I find out that there was a body buried in the backyard. Put yourself in my position. It doesn’t matter how awful a person he was. That’s just not something you move on from right away.”
“I understand.”
Kim lifts one of my hands and scrubs at the dirt caked around my claws. “Now that I’ve had time to think about it, I wanted to say thank you, though.” She pauses and looks up at me. “For protecting me, even when I didn’t realize I needed protecting.”
It is not what I expected to hear. “I…understand?”
Her fingers move lightly over mine, slick and wet, and even though I am trying to think pure thoughts, my cock surges at her touch. “I know you were acting to save me. Thank you. And I just want you to know I’m not mad about the whole “you killing your master” thing. If someone would have handed me a knife and opportunity, I would have killed mine, too. I very much understand that.” Her mouth tightens, and then she shakes her head and goes back to scrubbing me. She drops my hand and switches to the other. “I’m not mad.”
“You…are not mad,” I echo, because her words say this, but her brisk actions are not the gentle, loving Kim of yesterday.
“I’m not mad, but I am conflicted,” she clarifies, scrubbing my other arm. The hot water pours down her skin, making it gleam, and I want nothing more than to tease one of those pink nipples with my tongue and feel her squirm. My cock is rising painfully despite the long battle of last night, and Kim notices this, too. She clears her throat and gestures. “Turn, please.”
I turn. I suspect I am turning to appease her sensibilities. It is not as if my back is covered in dirt. But I turn because Kim has asked, and I will do anything for her.
“While I’m not mad at you,” Kim continues. “I feel we’re back to square one. I don’t trust you anymore. It’s going to take some time to get back to where we were before.” Her hands glide down my back slowly, practically a caress.
I want to point out that when she was terrified of me, she did not touch me, and she certainly did not stand naked in a shower with me and slide her wet, soft hands all over my backside. Kim is hurt, I realize, but she is wrong. We are not back to “square one.” But I do not point this out, because then she will stop touching me. “What would you have me do?”
“Earn my trust again,” she says simply as she washes me. “Prove to me that I can trust you again.” She pauses, and her voice grows soft. “I want to trust you, Nassakth. I just…I’m scared. What I need most is someone to rely on, and if that’s not you…”
I turn and face her, ignoring the throb of my cock. Her head is bent and she looks so sad, so