I do not move from her side. If anything, I hover closer.
I want to see her eyes open.
19
KIM
When I wake up and see the big face looming over mine, I’m confused. I’m flat on my back and just woke up, and I wonder if I’m still in bed. I touched myself—just to take the edge off, of course—to thoughts of the praxiian, trying to get my mind used to the idea, and it turns out…I didn’t hate it.
I didn’t hate it at all.
And the praxiian is gazing down at me with such tender concern on his fierce face that it makes my pulse flutter. Did he know what I was doing? Did he come in here to see…?
But then a robot waves something that smells like a stink bomb under my nose again, and I gag, pushing it aside. I struggle to sit up, and Nassakth supports me with a big hand on my back. I remember now. I woke up from my nap, went to find him…and saw it.
I shudder.
“Are you sick?” Nassakth asks, rubbing my back. “Do you need a drink of water?”
“I’m okay.” I put a hand to my forehead. “I just need a moment.”
“You are not okay. You fainted.” There’s a little growl in his voice. “Why did you faint?”
Do I tell him the truth? “It…it’s stupid.”
Something swats my leg. I glance down and it’s his tail, striking the side of the bed with annoyance. I look around and realize I’m not upstairs at all, but in what looks like a medical clinic of some sort. He did mention he had one downstairs in an antechamber. That must be where I am.
“It will be far stupider if you do not tell me what caused you to faint.” Nassakth doesn’t sound happy. I glance over at him and he’s looking me over with a frown, that tail swishing with irritation.
Did he…did he brush his tail again? The thick, fluffy fur looks awfully smooth and inviting to the touch.
“Well?” he practically snarls.
Right. I rub a hand over my brow again. “It was…the thing on your hand.” I can’t say the word. Just thinking about it makes me feel faint again.
He looks down at his big hand. “Thing?”
“You…you were holding it.” I shudder at the thought of all those arms and legs, that green body, the slinking way it moves, one segment after another, and my gorge rises. “Reminded me of…things.”
Nassakth pauses. “The…bug?”
I press my fingertips to my mouth, because it’s filling with saliva. It’s a stupid reaction, but I can’t help it. “Bad…memories,” I manage to wheeze out.
He stares at me for a moment. Then it dawns on him. “When you were a slave, was your owner a Lrulti?”
I manage to nod, though I’m sweating. Just thinking about it brings back a host of ugly memories. Of being taken by hideous aliens only to be handed off to an even more hideous alien, one that looked like a giant, mutated caterpillar and spoke a high-pitched, buzzing language that made my ears hurt. One that insisted I touch him and pleasure him…every single segment.
And I did what I had to do to survive.
“I’m gonna puke,” I whisper.
Instead of handing me a barf bucket, Nassakth crushes me against his chest. My face is suddenly filled with soft gray fur and underneath that, a hard, warm body. His big hand strokes my hair and he holds me close. “My poor Kim. I understand.” He keeps petting my head. “My owner was an ooli, and I suffer a similar problem when I see amphibians. Their skin makes me very angry. Very.” He rubs my back and squeezes me tight. “You are safe with me. I will never let anything or anyone harm you ever again.”
There’s such confidence in his voice that I believe him. And for some reason, my urge to puke is going away. It’s like him holding me is making all that awful tension relax, and my mouth stops watering and the urge to vomit dissipates. Instead, I relax against him and let him hold me close. It’s…nice. When was the last time I wanted to be touched? It’s been far, far too long. Yet since I’ve met Nassakth, he’s licked my hand, and petted my hair, and squeezed me against him. Praxiians are a touchy-feely race, I’m learning, and…I don’t hate it.
It’s kinda nice.
“I will get rid of my plants,” Nassakth says as I remain cuddled against his chest, breathing deep. “It was an interloper that found his way