"In the year two thousand and fifty."
He was sitting on a chair three feet from her couch. Through the open window, the ocean was between sets, flat and peaceful. He studied the floor. "I wanted to talk."
"Really? No, you don't. Do you?"
He glanced up, noting the grey circles around her eyes. "Doyou want to, or do you want me to leave?"
She signed, laying her head back. There was a dark red stain on her blue robe where the blood returned via her - he even remembered the name - saphenous vein. "I don't know."
"I'll leave."
She sat up quickly, reaching for his hand. "Please don't. I want to talk, I really do." She smiled. "We used to talk all the time. Remember? Especially late at night. I would turn off the light in my room and make my parents think I was asleep, and be on the phone with you until three in the morning." She chuckled. "The next day I would call in sick to school. But you never did. I used to envy your endurance.
I still can't figure out what we talked about. It must have been interesting."
"Robin, I don't - "
"I'm sorry, I'm being nostalgic. You're probably not in the mood." She squeezed his hand. "Tell me; I will listen."
He stared her straight in the eye. There, it was clear that she was dying. "God, Robin, you look terrible."
Her right cheek twitched once, her eyes moistened. "I feel terrible," she said softly. "It's like someone is tightening a clamp on my head. And my back - everything aches. And I'm so tired."
"This isn't normal for you?"
She shook her head. "It's usually not this bad."
"We should call for a doctor."
"No! I... I'll be okay. I'm just... changing the subject. I know why I feel bad."
"Is it me?"
She nodded, turning away, letting go of his hand. "You and Angie."
"I wanted to say that I'm sorry."
"For what? You're young, full of energy, full of life. You should have a girlfriend that you can have fun with. And no, I'm not playing the martyr. I'm being practical, as you have chosen to be. I can't have a boyfriend. How? I'm either hooked up to this gizmo or taking a nap."
"You can still talk on the phone."
She brightened, for a moment. "I'd have nothing to talk about. I don't do anything. I read, watch TV, listen to records. Occasionally, I try to sing, but I'm even beginning to lose my voice. My life's pretty dull." She paused, searching the sea. Her left hand clenched. She whispered, "This last couple of months, I waited foryou to call."
"I wanted to."
"Did you lose the number?" She grimaced. "Forgive me, I didn't mean that."
The bitterness actually helped. "I deserve it. I wish you hated me."
"I did, I think, for an hour here, a day there." She had closed her eyes, wearing a dreamy expression.
"But it was never for long. You want to hear something silly, a line from a soap? I think if I had known at the beginning when I drank that poison that you would leave me, I think I would have died that night. I don't think I could have seen such a dark future, and known that there would be no outside light, and have lived." She found his hand. "That must make you feel pretty rotten, but that's not why I told you. I told you to let you know how much you meant to me, and still mean to me." She looked at him, wrinkled her nose. "Pretty silly, huh?"
"Totally irrational." He paused. "I don't love Angie."
"You should; she's a nice girl. I hate her."
"Do you really?"
"I wanted to poison her drink last night."
"Why didn't you?"
"I didn't think she would be dumb enough to swallow a glass spiked with hemlock."
"You weren't dumb. It wasn't your fault."
"Whose was it then?"
There was an edge to her question. "It was an accident."
"Lena doesn't think so."
"What do you think?"
"How could - " she began, stopping herself, shrugging. "I think beer tastes awful. But here I go again, changing the subject. I told you I would listen. What did you want to tell me?"
She asked casually, but not without hope. He wanted to give her the world. Why couldn't he give her his own self?
"I stayed away because I was afraid. What happened to you scares me. I guess I worry that it could happen to me. That's irrational, too, but that's the way I feel. But seeing you again, I'm not so scared now."
She waited.