reaching out to for months now, to no avail.
I zone out, suddenly looking up to find myself in the desert with the body parts of my fallen men around me. The trucks are belching black smoke and cackling flames. Greene has come to and is screaming inconsolably. I can’t hear him. I can only see the ravaged stain of pain on his face. He’s almost white with it and a river of blood surrounds him. My gear and clothes are soaked in it. My vision spots white and I look up to see the smoke of another rocket coming straight for us.
A loud smack breaks me from the waking nightmare, sending shockwaves throughout my body. I tune back in to the present and find a red-faced Cole staring at me, his snack spread out in a wave on the floor. My fingers grip the edge of the table. I take a deep breath, offering up a weak smile.
“Sorry, kid. Was I ignoring you?” I get to my knees and rake up the food with shaking hands. Cole hiccups above me and a tear streaks down his cheek. “We’ll get you cleaned up and I’ll make you another snack. Does that sound good?”
I get to my knees, tossing the food in the trash and the bowl in the sink. I wipe the tear from his face and there, just for a second, he leans into my hand and closes his eyes. The earlier panic melts away and a seed of connection is born between us. I didn’t get to bond with him while he was in Livvie’s belly. I didn’t get to see him when he was born. I hadn’t even quite wrapped myself around the concept of being a father. But touching him, seeing him, having a moment with him, makes our bond real for the first time. That simple wonder is enough to wipe away the cold sweat and the remaining dregs of fear.
He opens his eyes and smiles at me. I smile back. “Yeah,” I whisper. “I think that sounds good, too.”
His second round of snacks taken care of, I hunt around the kitchen for fixings for dinner. There isn’t much to speak of when it comes to food, and though I’d be satisfied with a sandwich and chips, Livvie needs a good meal to keep up her strength.
A few minutes later and I’ve still got nothing. My cooking skills range from MREs to microwavable noodles, but I don’t see any of those in her fancy cabinets.
“Next time I tell you not to sell your car for a motorcycle, maybe you’ll listen,” my approaching mother snaps.
I unbuckle Cole from where he’s happily tossing his snack and watching it tumble to the ground with maniacal laughter.
“It’s not just a motorcycle, woman,” I hear my dad growl. “It’s a ticket to freedom from your constant nagging.”
“I can’t wait until you drive that monstrosity on my driveway. I’ll show you exactly where you can stuff your nagging.”
My mother flounces into the kitchen in a wave of AquaNet and attitude, where she immediately pounces on me. “I’ve given you plenty of time, Benjamin. Plenty of time. Now, your father is under some misguided impression that we should give you two more time to settle after everything that’s happened, but I’ll not be kept from my only grandson one day longer. Or my future daughter-in-law,” she adds with a pointed look.
Cole smashes his hands on the table in agreement, and my mom descends upon him with a sound of delight. Dad follows with the twins and I look to the ceiling for strength.
Dad turns to me and says, “I kept her away as long as I could, but there comes a time in a man’s life when our stamina just isn’t what it used to be.”
Livvie chooses that moment to return and blushes prettily at the entrance to the kitchen. Her hair falls around her shoulders in dark red waves. She smiles shyly at my dad and says, “Hey, Mr. Hart, Mrs. Hart. I’m sorry if you felt that you had to stay away. I-I would have come sooner, but—”
“No buts,” Mom interrupts. “Lord knows I raised Benjamin for eighteen years and then some. I know just what a pain in the ass he can be, and quite frankly, I’m glad I can finally wash my hands of him and have him be some other woman’s problem.”
Mom smiles at me, and I wrap an arm around her shoulders and pull her to my