startled and looked up at him, “did all of you assume I forced myself on them?”
I only gaped at him, while he glared at me, his face hard and offended. “Yes?” I said, bewildered at first. “Yes, of course we did. Why wouldn’t we? If you didn’t, why wouldn’t you—why don’t you just hire a servant—” Even as I said it, I began to wonder if that other woman, the one who’d left me the letter, had been right. That he just wanted a little human company—but only a little, on his own terms; not someone who could leave him when they liked.
“Hired servants were inadequate,” he said, irritable and evasive; he didn’t say why. He made an impatient gesture, not looking at me; if he had seen my face, perhaps he would have stopped. “I don’t take puling girls who want only to marry a village lover, or ones who cringe from me—”
I stood straight up, the chair clattering back over the floor away from me. Slow and late and bubbling, a ferocious anger had risen in me, like a flood. “So you take the ones like Kasia,” I burst out, “the ones brave enough to bear it, who won’t hurt their families worse by weeping, and you suppose that makes it right? You don’t rape them, you only close them up for ten years, and complain that we think you worse than you are?”
He stared up at me, and I stared back, panting. I hadn’t even known those words were in me to be spoken; I hadn’t known they were in me to be felt. I would never have thought of speaking so to my lord, the Dragon: I had hated him, but I wouldn’t have reproached him, any more than I would have reproached a bolt of lightning for striking my house. He wasn’t a person, he was a lord and a wizard, a strange creature on another plane entirely, as far removed as storms and pestilence.
But he had stepped down from that plane; he had given me real kindness. He’d let his magic mingle with my own again, that strange breathtaking intimacy, all to save Kasia with me. I suppose it might seem strange that I should thank him by shouting at him, but it meant more than thanks: I wanted him to be human.
“It’s not right,” I said loudly. “It’s not right!”
He stood up and for a moment we faced each other across the table, both of us furious, both of us, I think, equally shocked; then he turned and walked away from me, bright angry streaks of red color in his cheeks, his hand gripping hard on the window-sill as he stared out of the tower. I flung myself out of the room and ran upstairs.
—
For the rest of the day, I stayed by Kasia’s bedside while she slept, perched on the bed with her thin hand in mine. She was still warm and alive, but he hadn’t misspoken. Her skin was soft, but beneath it her flesh was unyielding: not like stone but like a smooth-polished piece of amber, hard but flowing, with the edges rounded away. Her hair shone in the deep golden cast of the candle-glow, curling into whorls like the knots of a tree. She might have been a carved statue. I had told myself she wasn’t so altered, but I knew I was wrong. My eyes were too loving: I looked and only saw Kasia. Someone who didn’t know her would see a strangeness in her at once. She had always been beautiful; now she was unearthly so, preserved and shining.
She woke and looked at me. “What is it?”
“Nothing,” I said. “Are you hungry?”
I didn’t know what to do for her. I wondered if the Dragon would let her stay here: we could share my room, upstairs. Perhaps he would be glad of a servant who could never leave, since he disliked training a new one. It was a bitter thought, but I couldn’t think of anything else. If a stranger had come into our village looking like her, we’d have thought them corrupted for sure, some new kind of monstrosity put forth by the Wood.
The next morning, I made up my mind to ask him to let her stay, despite everything. I went back to the library. He was at the window with one of his wisp-creatures floating in his hands. I stopped. Its gently undulating surface held a reflection, like a still pool of water, and when