Until the World Stops - L.A. Witt Page 0,91
the pandemic happened, because good God, I’m not. Not even a little.” I swallowed. “But I will definitely say that if it was going to happen, I’m glad I was with you when it did.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. And spending some time not having you? Well, it really made me appreciate what I had.” I laced our fingers together. “What I hopefully still have.”
Tristan smiled, stroking my thumb with his. “You do.” He glanced at Tilly, who was still perched on my chest. “So I guess this means we won’t have to worry about who gets custody of Little Miss Priss here.”
I laughed, and so did he, but there was a hint of something real in his expression. Sobering a little, I asked, “Were you… Did that bother you too? Who’d take Tilly when we went our separate ways?”
Tristan nodded, watching his own hand as he petted her. “I mean, I knew it would be a thing as soon as we got her, but I guess the longer we’ve had her…” He shrugged and looked at me through his lashes. “I didn’t want to let her go, but I didn’t want to take her from you either.”
“I’m glad we don’t have to worry about it, then.” I kissed him softly. “Because I don’t want to give up either of you.”
“Aww, you sap.”
“Shut up.”
Chuckling, he kissed me, and we lay in comfortable silence. My mind wandered a bit, and I realized I was racking my brain for all the things I’d wanted to talk to him about recently, but couldn’t because things had been so weird between us.
“So,” I said, “I talked to Senior last week about Chief’s conspiracy theory crap.”
Tristan propped himself up on his elbow and held my gaze. “Yeah?”
Absently running the backs of my knuckles up and down the middle of his chest, I nodded. “Got a counseling chit out of it, too.”
He tensed. “What? Why?”
“Because I told him he and Chief had it out for you because they disagreed with your politics, and they pulled a reason out of their asses to force you out of the Navy.”
Tristan’s eyes got huge. “Wow. Really?”
“Yeah. They did you dirty, and I’m tired of pretending they didn’t.” I slid my hand up to his face and caressed his cheek. “I should’ve backed you up. I don’t know if it would’ve made a difference, but man, I’m sorry I just let them do it.”
Tristan took my hand and kissed my palm. “You didn’t know they were going to fuck me as hard as they did. I didn’t know they were going to.”
“No, but I should’ve gone to bat for you anyway. I was your supervisor, and I should’ve—”
“Casey.” He shook his head. “Don’t do this to yourself. I knew I was setting myself up for backlash when I posted. I knew they could find a way to fuck me if they really wanted to.” He paused, looking right in my eyes. “And I never doubted that you had my back, even when you didn’t agree with me.”
“Still. I shouldn’t have just let you face that firing squad alone. You deserved better than what the Navy did, and you deserved better than—”
He cut me off with a soft kiss. Then he met my eyes. “It’s okay. I could have handled things better too. And hell, maybe getting out of the Navy wasn’t such a bad thing. I was miserable, and…” He grinned. “I mean, it did land me with you, so…”
I chuckled. “Okay. True.”
Tristan kissed me again. When I twisted toward him, the movement apparently annoyed Tilly, because she got up off my chest and moved down by our feet.
While she got comfortable, I watched my fingers trail along Tristan’s arm. “I can see why you were miserable in the Navy. To be honest, I hate that I’m committed for another five years. And that I should stick it out another four beyond that so I can retire.” I looked up at him again. “I never thought I would resent the Navy, but after what they did to you…”
“You’re not going to get out over it, are you?”
I shook my head. “No, but it made me see a lot of things. It made me realize how much hypocrisy there is, and how it’s the same shit at every command.” Shoulders sinking, I added, “I kind of want to bust my ass and try to make chief so I can make things better, but I’m pretty sure I’m blacklisted from the chief’s mess.”
“And you’d have to