Until the World Stops - L.A. Witt Page 0,92
work against the entire mess to unfuck things.”
I sighed. Just thinking about it was exhausting. “I could just keep my head down and ride it out for the next ten years, but that is a long time to ride out this kind of bullshit.”
Tristan pulled me a little closer and kissed the top of my head. “You don’t have to stay in.”
“But if I invest sixteen years, and there’s only four to go after that…”
“That’s still four years of your life.” He stroked my hair. “It’s up to you, and obviously you don’t have to decide right now. But when you get there, if you want to just get out and move on, you won’t hear any arguments from me.”
I shifted so I could look up at him. “Really?”
“Yeah. I know what kind of bullshit you’re up against. I wasn’t going to make it past the end of my enlistment even if they hadn’t booted me, so I get it.” He touched my face. “We’re in this together. We’ll find a way to stay on our feet whether you stay to twenty or get out before retirement. Other people will have opinions about it, but I support you either way.” He paused, a slight smile forming on his lips. “And if you do get out at sixteen, I should have my shit together by then, so I can keep us going until you get a job.”
It took a moment for the words to really sink in. For the weight of what he’d said to really settle over me like a heavy, comforting blanket. “So I… If I don’t retire…”
“You really think I’d tell you to stick it out for that long?” Tristan shook his head. “The retirement’s great and all, but it would mean another four years in the Navy.” Caressing my cheek, he whispered, “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, but whatever happens, we’ll adapt and make it work. I just don’t want you to spend years doing something that makes you miserable.”
I closed my eyes and sighed. Ever since I’d enlisted, and especially since each of my reenlistments, everyone had harped on how smart it was to stay in for the full twenty. It was a sweet deal, after all—retire at thirty-eight and start a new career while getting half my military pay for the rest of my life. So many people had told me they wished they’d stayed in, or they wished they’d enlisted at all so they could have that retirement. No one ever said, “You know what? The military life isn’t for everyone, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting out and doing something else instead of sticking it out to twenty.”
But now Tristan, the man who actually had a vested interest in my long term career planning… It wasn’t that I needed anyone’s permission to make a decision about the future, but maybe deep down I had needed someone to tell me that getting out was an option. Even after the ten-year mark, which was when most people figured they were in the for the long haul since they were over halfway to retirement, it was okay for me to jump ship (so to speak) and do something else with my life.
Tristan smoothed my hair and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. “I mean it.” He lifted my chin and kissed me softly. “Whatever happens, we’ll find a way.”
“I know we will.” I ran my fingers through his hair. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” He kissed me again, and this time wrapped his arms around me. We sank onto the mattress as the kiss deepened. His hand slid down my back, and I couldn’t help sighing as I held him closer.
I bumped Tilly with my foot, and she hopped off the bed with an indignant thump. Since I didn’t have to worry about kicking or squashing her, I pulled Tristan close as our bodies started responding to this long, languid kiss.
I couldn’t remember a time in my life when the future was more uncertain than it was right now. I was scared in ways I’d never been before, and there was no telling if or when that would change. I was disillusioned with my career and second-guessing the twenty-year plan I thought I’d carved in stone. Everything in the world and everything in our little world seemed to be up in the air.
There was something to be said for facing down that uncertainty with Tristan by my side, though. No, he couldn’t magically fix anything, and no, him being here wouldn’t change the outcome of the pandemic.
But going through this storm with him sounded a hell of a lot less daunting than weathering it alone.
And when the storm finally passed and the sun came out again, I’d spend the rest of my life grateful that I’d accidentally fallen for the man I’d married.
About the Author
L.A. Witt and her husband have been exiled from Spain and sent to live in Maine because rhymes are fun. She now divides her time between writing, assuring people she is aware that Maine is cold, wondering where to put her next tattoo, and trying to reason with a surly Maine coon. Rumor has it her arch nemesis, Lauren Gallagher, is also somewhere in the wilds of New England, which is why L.A. is also spending a portion of her time training a team of spec ops lobsters. Authors Ann Gallagher and Lori A. Witt have been asked to assist in lobster training, but they "have books to write" and "need to focus on our careers" and "don't you think this rivalry has gotten a little out of hand?" They're probably just helping Lauren raise her army of squirrels trained to ride moose into battle.
Website: www.gallagherwitt.com
Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @GallagherWitt