Until the World Stops - L.A. Witt Page 0,90
best I could ask for right now, and I didn’t complain.
The mattress shifted suddenly, announcing that Tilly had jumped onto the bed. A second later, she marched right onto us, and she stopped with her back feet on Tristan’s side and her front paws on my chest as she stared at us with equal parts confusion and contempt.
“Don’t look at me like that.” Tristan scratched behind her ears. “You have plenty of food.”
I laughed. “Aww, but look at her. She’s clearly starving.”
“Uh-huh. Clearly.”
Tilly moved all the way onto my chest, then flopped down on her side, driving a grunt out of me.
“Oh my God, cat.” I patted her side. “We need to put your ass on a diet.”
Tristan laughed as he scratched her fluffy belly. “Yeah okay. You try explaining that to her when it’s time for that godawful wet food.”
Tilly just purred, giant orange paws kneading in the air as we both petted her. When he scratched her belly again, she kicked at his hand with her back legs, but only halfheartedly. And she was still purring.
This was perfect—just lying here with Tristan, cuddling with our cat, with a whole lot less of the weight of the world on my shoulders.
“I’m really glad we made it back to this,” I said.
Tristan turned to me, and his smile made me warm all over. “Me too.” He kissed me softly. “And I’m glad to hear your mom’s doing better. I’ve, um…” He swallowed. “I’ve been worried.”
“Yeah?”
“Of course. Your mom is awesome, and I mean, even when things were weird, it wasn’t like I stopped caring about you.”
“I’m sorry they got weird, though.”
He shook his head, gaze fixed on Tilly as he petted her. “It was on both of us. We did kind of bite off more than we could chew with this marriage thing, and then trying to figure out what we were doing in the middle of a pandemic…” He made a face and shook his head.
“Still. I should’ve known the dependence thing would bite us in the ass.”
“It did.” He turned to me again, a little smile on his lips. “But we figured it out.”
“Thank God.”
“And your mom—is she still sick, or…?”
I nodded. “They think it’s going to take a while to shake it off completely. And some people don’t shake it off completely. But the fevers seem to be gone, and she can breathe a lot better. She can talk.” I exhaled. “So, it looks promising, you know?”
“Good. That’s really good.”
“Yeah. And I, um… The night I found out she was sick, I never got to say anything because things went to shit between us, but…thanks. For holding me up. That was a rough night.”
“I know it was. I’m sorry this”—he gestured at us—“got weird that night. I didn’t want to—”
“No, no.” I shook my head. “It sucked, but honestly, I’d rather you said something then than tell me later that you’d gone through the motions thinking you couldn’t say no. Yeah, I needed something that night, but not without your consent.”
He studied me as if he weren’t sure what to say. Then he nodded slowly. “I guess. I just wish it hadn’t picked that night to become an issue.”
“I know. But still, the part in the kitchen, when I lost it after the phone call?” I swallowed. “Thanks. I really don’t know how I’d have gotten through a lot of this without you.”
Tristan tensed a little.
“What?” I asked.
“I…” He chewed his lip. “That was something I was worried about, to be honest. That this was just easy and good for both of us because the alternative is getting through a pandemic alone. And I guess part of me was afraid…” He hesitated, and some color bloomed in his cheeks as he quietly said, “Part of me is still afraid that when things go back to normal, so will we.”
“Oh. Wow. Yeah, I can see that, I guess. But I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
His brow pinched.
I went on, “Things are different between us now. Way different. And…” I pursed my lips as I thought about how to explain it. “I mean, it’s kind of like what you said about your nephews and going to Disneyland—the pandemic sucks and nobody in their right mind wanted it to happen, but it meant they didn’t have the miserable experience they probably both would have if they’d taken that trip.” I trailed my fingertips along the stubble on his jaw. “And with us, I mean I’ll never say I’m glad