morning's rain. Friday afternoons were usually the sweetest time of the week, replete with the promise of escape, but today he had the chore of meeting the tutor. He could blow the appointment off if he wanted and simply tell his mother he'd gone. But such deception would require its own energy and the visit would only take an hour.
Between his mother's new job at the library and his effort to be out of the house in the evenings, he and his mother didn't see much of each other these days. During the meals they did share, Nate didn't begrudge his mother her remoteness: how she didn't seem to hear what he said, how she responded in non sequiturs - bits of news about old friends or relatives, or recollections of trips they had once taken. Time together was tolerable that way. The two of them absent like that.
The difficulty arose when, on occasion, she would come to him with some fact in hand - a grade or health form - something she felt the sudden, fitful need to measure up to as a parent. Then they couldn't avoid each other, and all her straining in the last year to keep their lives together, to keep them in the house and to pay the bills, would pour into her panicked voice and no matter how small the subject she'd raised it would seem suddenly to be a matter of life and death. That was when he couldn't bear it and would agree to whatever she asked so they could both turn away again.
A year ago his father had been flying high, pulling Nate out of school in the middle of the day to eat lunch at the Four Seasons or driving him in an old Rolls-Royce out to the tip of Cape Cod late on a weekday night to watch the reflection of the moon on the dark waters of the Atlantic. Knowing that his mother was sitting at home stricken with worry about where they might be made it hard for Nate to simply enjoy such moments, however much his father did. He had lost his last consulting job a year and a half earlier and Nate knew they were running out of money. The rush of ideas about the next business he planned to start came at Nate so hard the words took on physical force, like a wind blowing fine shards of glass. The descriptions of projects and investors, elaborated down to the last digit and address, were painful in their detail.
This relentless drive of his had lasted six months. Then, in the middle of June, his father had come home and gone to bed, where he had stayed for most of the summer, making only occasional forays into the garage or basement to escape the heat. He ate little and barely spoke, while Nate's mother did her best to make it appear as if all were as usual.
Eventually, regaining energy, he'd begun to leave the house again, taking long walks on the trails over by the Audubon. He would depart before dawn and return around lunchtime. When he didn't come back one afternoon, Nate's mother called him at the supermarket where he worked after school and asked if he would go looking for him.
A quarter of a mile into the woods, Nate had come to the aqueduct that spanned the marsh, its concrete surface spotted with graffiti left by the kids who drank there on weekends. He and his father had crossed this bridge together countless times before, just meandering on a weekend afternoon, scouting out parts of the river they might row down if they had a boat. Until recently, Nate had thought nothing of their idyll of a companionship; it had simply always been there.
He crossed the bridge and continued along the path that followed the ridgeline into the forest. The Audubon preserve was a mile or so farther along, accessed from a road on the far side. Not many people walked up through this area so he wasn't surprised not to meet anyone on the trail. But he only went so far. He didn't walk all the way to the far end of the path that led down to the water's edge; and he didn't explore under the arches of the bridge on his way back or search up along the riverbank as he could have, as he might have. Rather, he stood at the aqueduct's black, wrought-iron railing looking out over the