entwined.
And in that, she also knew that Pearce had loved her. Because he’d let her go.
Losing him had been sheer hell, but she would never begrudge him the outcome. After all, because of that night, he was given the chance for a grand life in the army, a life he deserved—or at least that was the lie she told herself in order to survive the pain. And she’d planned to marry, to have a house of her own, a family…all those things she’d hoped would replace the emptiness Pearce’s leaving had created. Only once had she attempted to rekindle their friendship. After Papa died and was no longer an obstacle between them, she’d sent off a series of letters to Pearce, confessing her feelings and asking for a new chance at a future together.
But he’d never replied. Not once. Apparently, by then he no longer wanted her.
Soon after, she met Aaron and determined to have the life with him that fate had denied her with Pearce. She’d done her best to put the past behind her and move on.
Only tonight, when she was waltzing in his arms, did she realize how much she’d truly missed him. The pain had been simply brutal.
With her buttons undone, Amelia stood as tall as she could in the swaying carriage and gripped the ceiling for support, one hand at a time, so that Maggie could remove her gown. In the darkness, no one could see into the compartment and glimpse her in her stays and chemise, but unease fluttered butterflies in her belly—or perhaps that was a result of the evening. Surely not all of the swaying that gripped her was because of the rocking carriage.
Would she even know him now? Was any of the boy she’d loved still left inside the man Pearce had become?
Things were so different before, when they were children. They’d been brought together only because of the proximity of her father’s town house to his uncle’s inn. He’d been raised there by his uncle after he’d been orphaned, and she’d been allowed to wander unsupervised from the house after her own mother died. After all, Papa had no care or use for her then. That was before he’d made his fortune and came to society’s notice. Before he needed a daughter to marry the son of a peer and launch the Howards into the aristocracy.
Back then she and Pearce had been nothing more than two misfits who belonged nowhere except with each other. Companionship turned into friendship and eventually into affection. For Amelia, it became love. She’d wanted nothing more than to be with him for the rest of her life.
But it had all come crashing down, and nothing could ever be the same between them again.
Maggie slid the blue muslin dress over Amelia’s head and tugged it down into place around her hips and legs. Amelia sank onto the bench.
“You didn’t have the chance to learn anything more at all, then?” the maid pressed as she reached to button her up. “About what Mr. Howard’s been up to?”
“No.” Although after seeing Pearce, her brother had been the least of her concerns.
Maggie pulled pins from her own hair and began to twist Amelia’s into a chignon. “What do we do next?”
“I don’t know.” But surrender was not an option, not when her brother’s career hung in the balance. If Frederick truly had done something illegal—and what MP hadn’t these days?—then he might very well be ruined, thrown out of Parliament, perhaps even arrested and put into prison. And her life would be ruined right along with his. A victim of proximity. If he fell, she’d go tumbling after, and the women her charity helped right along with them. “Don’t worry. I’ll think of something.”
Ignoring the painful hopelessness that panged inside her, she kicked off her red slippers and pulled on a pair of sturdy half-boots. Her normal, not-so-glamorous fare. She turned toward Maggie and pulled her long sleeves into place. “How do I look?”
The woman gave her an assessing glance. “Plain and boring.”
“Perfect.” After all, she had to look as if she’d spent the evening at one of her bluestocking meetings. She trusted no one inside her brother’s house except for Maggie, not knowing where the blackmailer had gotten his information. And if Frederick ever discovered what she’d done tonight and why…God help her.
“Anything else you want to tell me about tonight?” Maggie asked as she folded up the gown and tucked it into the bag in which she