preacher finished his services and left, Danny and I drove to the bay and boarded his private yacht. I had requested that everyone but him stay behind; this was something I needed to do alone, but since I couldn’t drive the boat, Danny had agreed to go with me. Not only was it his boat, but he understood better than anyone what I was going through and I needed his comfort.
I sat on the deck with the urn clutched tightly in my hands as I watched the shore disappear behind us. He continued to take us further out to sea until the shore was no longer visible. He shut off the engine and sat down in the seat next to me without speaking.
“I don’t think I can do this.” I whispered.
“Take your time Chloe, we can stay out here as long as we need to.”
“Thank you, not just for this, but for everything you’ve done for me.”
“We’re family, and I know you’d do the same for me. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
We sat in silence as the boat swayed back and forth gently. My mind moved at warp speed as I thought of all the moments my mother had hurt me. I tried to ignore them, to focus on happier thoughts with her, but the sad truth was that there were none. Never once had she ever told me that she loved me, or even that she was proud of me.
A tear slipped down my cheek as I stood and walked to the edge of the deck. I removed the lid and stared down at the urn in my hands. This wasn’t just goodbye, it was peace. I held the urn over the edge and tilted it to the side, letting the ashes slowly slide out. A breeze caught them and carried them away as I poured, until there was nothing left.
I stared down at the empty urn in my hands before throwing it into the ocean. There was no comfort in its presence, only an empty shell and a reminder of the pain my mother had caused. I watched it hit the surface of the water and sink down into the dark depths below. As it sank, I let it take all the pain and regret with it. I would leave my pain here, in the middle of the ocean and start over again.
I hugged myself as I turned to face Danny. “I’m ready.”
“Are you sure? We can stay for a while if you’d like.”
“No, there’s nothing here and there never was.”
He stood and wrapped his arms around me. “All right then, let’s go home.”
He started the engine and took us back to shore. I stared straight ahead, refusing to look back. I was leaving it all behind.
We docked and I helped him to secure the boat, before making the drive back home. The car ride was as quiet as the trip back to shore in the boat and I appreciated that Danny was trying to give me space.
Drake was standing outside as we pulled up to the house and I smiled at the sight of him. Regardless of where life took me, I knew he would always be by my side. As soon as Danny parked, I jumped out of the car and ran straight into his arms.
He stumbled back as I jumped into his arms. “You ok babe?”
“I am now.”
“Glad to hear it. Let’s go inside, Allison has dinner ready for everyone.”
We walked inside, with Danny close behind. As soon as I stepped into the house, my stomach growled from the smells coming from the dining room. Everyone was already sitting around the table eating as we entered.
I smiled as everyone looked up. “I hope you saved something for us.”
Adam snorted. “It’s every man for himself around here. I don’t think I’ll survive once I have to start eating Drake’s Pop Tarts on the bus again, this food is the shit.”
“I knew it was you who was stealing them! You asshole, I asked if it was you who took them and you denied it!” Drake said as he pretended to be outraged.
“No, you asked if I touched your shit, which I didn’t. I ate your Pop Tarts.”
They continued to bicker back and forth as we walked to the table and sat down. Allison had gone all out, making all of my favorites. The table was piled high with homemade mashed potatoes and gravy, fried chicken, shrimp linguini, crab legs, fresh dinner rolls, ribs, and two Key Lime