came with us as well, but she sat on the opposite side of the limo from the rest of us. When we arrived, they gave us a few minutes to say our final goodbyes before they started letting the mourners in.
This was the first time I had seen my aunt since she passed, and I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew everyone said that once someone was gone, they didn’t look anything like how they did in life. As I followed Jordan to stand in front of her casket, I realized they were right.
This thin pale woman was not my aunt and I refused to remember her like this; I would picture her the way she was that summer so long ago. Her hair shining in the sunlight, her eyes sparkling with mischief, her skin glowing and tanned from the hours she spent in the sun; that’s how I wanted to remember her.
I felt my breaths grow shallow and I ran to the nearest exit to avoid the panic attack that seemed to be drawing near. I flung the doors open and breathed in the fresh air, a welcome reprieve from the stale flowery air inside. My body started to relax as I stood there, and I could finally breathe again.
I jumped when warm hands wrapped around both of my shoulders.
“You alright Chloe Bear?” Jordan asked.
“Yeah, I just had to get out of there for a minute.”
“I can understand that, I know this is rough on you,” he said as he massaged my shoulders.
“It is, but it’s harder on you and Danny. I appreciate you watching out for me, but you need to mourn too. You’ve barely said anything since it happened,” I said as I turned to face him.
His hands dropped to his sides as he turned to look across the street. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. I deal with things in my own way.”
“By suffering in silence? I don’t think so Jordan, you need to talk about it. You know I’m here if you need me.”
“I know that Chloe and I appreciate it, I really do, but I don’t talk about stuff like this,” he said.
I reached up and cupped his cheek. “Well, if you change your mind come find me.”
He pulled away, looking uncomfortable, and I dropped my hand to my side.
“We’d better get back inside before someone comes looking for us,” he said as he cleared his throat.
I nodded as he took my hand and led me back inside.
The funeral services were beautiful. So many people showed up that there weren’t enough chairs for everyone and several people were forced to stand in the back of the room. It brought tears to my eyes as person after person asked to speak about my aunt. She had touched so many lives during her time on this Earth and I felt a sense of pride just being related to such an outstanding woman.
After the services were over, we followed in the limo directly behind the hearse to the cemetery. Danny finally lost it when they lowered her casket and Jordan had to help him back to the car. Most people held a banquet in honor of the deceased, but Danny had requested that no events be scheduled for her. I knew it was because he was reaching the end of his rope stress wise and I respected that. I had never seen the point in throwing a party over someone dying anyway.
When we arrived back at the house, Kadi and Jordan made sure Danny got to his room while I changed back into comfortable clothes. As soon as I had my dress off, I threw it in the garbage can. I know it seems childish, but I never wanted to look at it again; all it would do was remind me of this day.
My mother hadn’t come back with us after the services and I hoped that she would stay away, at least for a few more hours. I didn’t have it in me to put up with her and I knew Danny wouldn’t be able to watch out for me. That left Jordan to play babysitter again and I didn’t want to put any more stress on him; he had enough to deal with today.
I spent the rest of the day sitting by the pool with Jordan and Kadi as Jordan shared stories about Aunt Jen from his childhood. I laughed as he told story after story about him and Danny getting in trouble