part, one little toe in the door, perhaps it’s possible, however small the chance, I might be able to climb out of this toilet bowl.
Taking a deep breath, I inhale slowly for five counts. I exhale for six and imagine pulling with all my strength on the side of a giant-sized toilet bowl. With my chin lifted, I close my eyes and think about my mom. She always said I could be anything I wanted to be. I look down at my phone and see Daisy’s smiling face, her pretty brown eyes, and those cute little curls.
I’m about to touch the face when it lights up in my hand. The screen goes black and Lorraine’s name appears at the top. My heart jumps in my chest. It’s been a hot minute since I’ve gotten an unsolicited call from my agent.
“Hello?”
“Scout?” Lorraine shouts in my ear. “Are you sitting down?”
“That’s about all I’ve been doing for the last month.”
“Well, get ready to stand up. I found a job for you, but don’t get excited. It’s very small.”
I would expect nothing less, Universe. “I’ll take it.”
“Good, I’ll let them know.” She exhales loudly in my ear. “But just so you know, you’ve got no lines, and it might even get cut in the final edits.”
“I’ll still get paid, though, right?”
“You’ll get paid scale for every day you’re there. Even better, if you show up and work hard, you might catch some casting director’s eye who’ll take pity on you.”
“When do I start?”
Seventeen
Scout
Four Years Later
“I knew you’d get past that silly scandal.” Gran’s tone is over-protective scolding as we stand together at the kitchen sink washing our few breakfast dishes.
I don’t bother correcting her it was more than a silly scandal. It was pretty fucking devastating. It took years to blow over, but I stayed in the ring. I survived it. Hell, surviving that “silly scandal” made me feel like I could survive pretty much anything.
It’s been a roller-coaster getting back on my feet. The climb out of the toilet was slow but steady. Bit part after bit part led to a small role in a legal thriller where I had one line. It was enough to get my SAG card, and once that happened, more small parts started coming in until I got a real supporting role in the new Chris Nolan film—before the year that won’t be named.
With things getting back to normal, Crenshaw decided to move to Santa Cruz, and I decided not to keep the apartment.
“My first success story.” He’d said, hugging me goodbye. “You did it.”
“Ha. Your success story.” I’d shaken my head. “I secreted all the way back to being cast in big-budget films, but what good is it if I’m alone?”
“That’s a question I can’t answer, Padawan. You must chase down your fate and make her your bitch.”
“Is that the official line?”
He slapped me on the back. “No, but you’ll do it anyway. Good luck, friend.”
Which brings me here, back to Fireside. Mr. Single Guy. All alone.
“Anybody with eyes would know you’re not gay.” Gran’s still fussing as I hand her a clean dish to dry.
I give her a gentle nudge with my elbow. “It’s not something you can tell by looking at people.”
“Well, of course it isn’t!” Her fussing makes me smile. It’s the sound of home and comfort. “I’m talking about the way you followed that little Sales girl around all through high school and even when you came back from college. Anybody could see you weren’t gay.”
Energy surges in my chest at the mention of Daisy. “We were just friends, Gran.”
“Just friends.” She makes a little pfft sound as she sets the final dish aside and turns to face me. “Then what are you doing here? John said you’re in that new Chuck Norris film. Why aren’t you back in Hollywood being a big movie star?”
“It’s Chris Nolan, Gran. Not Chuck Norris. They’re two totally different people.”
“Don’t change the subject.” She points her bony finger at me. “Why are you back in Fireside?”
Because after watching my brother’s life implode then watching him build a new one even better than the one he’d had before, I’m ready to do the same. If it’s still possible.
The last time I was here, I heard Daisy had opened a store in Oceanside Village. I also learned her father had died suddenly. I’d wanted to go to her, but J.R. needed me in California. He needed me to help with Jesse, and it couldn’t wait.
Now I want to