grin. Finally though, I had to ask, because we’d been chatting for nearly an hour.
Me: Where’s Archie?
Frankie: Sound asleep next to me. He was exhausted when he got here.
Me: He okay?
Frankie: I think so. It’s just been a long few days.
That it had.
Me: Get some sleep, Angel. I love you.
Frankie: Love you too.
Flopping back on my bed, I stared up at the ceiling and started to laugh.
Brother boyfriends.
Only my mom.
Laugh a Little Too Loud
“It’s not about whether I want to know who he is…not really.”
“Why would you say that?”
I tugged at the loose string, toying with the frayed end. “I’ve never had a father. It was always just Maddy and me. I didn’t really think about the fact I didn’t have one until first or second grade.”
“What happened to make you question it?”
“Father’s Day. Coop wanted to make something for his dad for Father’s Day, and he wanted me to help him find some stuff to do it. Anyway, it was normal stuff. It must have been second grade.”
“Okay.”
I shook my head. “I just—Jake was here. We didn’t meet Jake until second grade.” I could almost see the three of us. It was after the end of the school year and the beginning of summer. Jake came over every day because we had the pool and his place had sisters. Including baby sisters. Coop only had Trina, but the three of us could run around on our own as long as we stuck together.
“We were always in and out together, hanging out, playing, but on Father’s Day weekend, they were both busy and I asked Maddy about why we didn’t celebrate Father’s Day.”
“What did she say? “
A laugh worked its way free. “That it was just her and me. We didn’t need a father. Either of us.” I glanced at Erin. “Weird, right?”
“I don’t know, do you think it’s weird?”
I exhaled and then stared up at the ceiling. “Looking back, now? Yes. Then? No. The guys never really asked me about my father, I think they thought he was dead maybe. Or maybe the fact I never brought him up. It’s…how do you talk about someone who doesn’t exist?”
“Parental relationships are more than genetics and blood.”
“Oh boy, do I know that. But there were four DNA tests, and one was positive. She wanted Mr. Standish to believe it was him. It wasn’t about me knowing. It was about him knowing. She didn’t seem to care what it did to my relationship with Archie. To be honest, I kind of wonder if she even knew Archie and I were involved. Or would she have tried to stop it if she had known?”
Ugh. The thought gave me a headache.
“And now that you know it’s not him, it means you still have a potential bio donor out there.”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t have to know if you want to meet him.”
Well, that was something. “I want to laugh. Because this is like my own damn soap opera, only it’s not my storyline, I’m just getting jerked around in hers.”
“Then laugh.”
I blinked. “What?”
“Laugh,” Erin advised me. “Laughter and tears are both cathartic. If you want to laugh, laugh.”
A chuckle escaped me, and I shook my head again. “What if I want to find this guy, but it turns out he’s no better than Maddy? I mean, she told me once my father didn’t want me. Another time, she said he told her to get an abortion. Another time…” I curled that frayed string around my finger. “Each time it came up, her story changed.”
Maddy had always said she’d wanted me. Her. No one else had wanted me, and I should be damn well grateful for it.
“What if you find him, and he’s none of the things your mother has described?”
What if…
Chapter Eleven
Don’t Forget to Remember Me
Coop
The last week had been crazy. I’d been trying to spend more time with Trina when she wasn’t blowing me off. I’d even taken her out with me while I worked a delivery shift. That had been a fucking joy. The icy silence punctuated by bitchy comments. Sign me up for more of that. But it wasn’t my first rodeo, and I did what I could.
Now, sitting outside of the family therapy office while Mom and Dad talked to the therapist, I scrolled through my phone. Trina hadn’t said much when I picked her up from school, and she’d said even less during the session. As much as these sessions were about helping her address her anger and getting all of us