Touch And Go - Aiden Bates Page 0,88
do. Okay. Yeah…I haven’t really done anything long-term. A long history of hook-ups but nothing serious, no one who ever slept in my bed like you did… So, I’m used to people checking out like this is a damned Hilton Hotel when they’re done with me.” How anyone could be done with Derek was beyond me. “But when you left…it almost killed me. There was nothing—is nothing temporary in how I feel about you.”
I brought his hand to my mouth and kissed gently. “I left because of my own shit, not because my feelings for you changed. I didn’t want to see what we shared beyond sex because it would mean I had to talk to you about all the things in my life that made me not good enough. So I left it at sex. I kind of thought that was all you wanted anyway.”
He shook his head. “I wanted more. I want more. God, I should’ve told you back then, as soon as I knew.”
“Me too.” My heart was pounding hard, and I leaned in to kiss him. Slow. Gentle. Packed with as much love as I could convey in a single touch of our lips.
When we pulled apart, he leaned his forehead against mine. I could see every fleck of color in his eyes, every emotion in his soul. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. I might be young, but I know what I want.”
“I didn’t mean… But we should talk about that.”
“My toddler tantrum tendencies or your Mrs. Robinson complex?” I rolled the r and waggled my eyebrows, acutely aware I was making light of something that made me feel nervous as hell.
Derek gave me a small smile for my effort. “First of all, I’m not old enough to be your Mrs. Robinson.”
“So I shouldn’t glean anything from that 9:30 bedtime?”
He shoved me and I cackled wickedly. “That was so I could get you into bed.” Oh, Lord, if he kept talking like that, we weren’t going to get much more talking in. “Second of all.” He took both of my hands and waited for me to meet his gaze, but I was busy imagining him naked, stroking his dick while I watched. “The age difference is a power imbalance, right?”
I hung on for a second longer then sent the image to the back of my mind for later. Balance of power. “Yeah. I suppose that’s part of it.” I felt small for even thinking it because he’d protected me, loved me, and taken my problems on. But he’d also made it hard for me to handle things on my own.
“What else is part of the power imbalance we have?”
I shrugged. “You seem really…put together.”
“I do?” He looked down at the stained hoodie and cocked an eyebrow.
“Maybe not right this second, but for the most part, you’re like a finely glued puzzle. Look at you.” I motioned to him with a nod. I wished he could see himself the way I did. He was so much better than me and it must have been obvious to anyone who could see us side by side. “You’re Georgetown alum. And after everything you went through as a kid, you found a way to make a home for you and your brothers, you save lives every day, you have a good income, a noble profession, you’re good-looking…”
“I don’t know what you’re saying except I’m a catch.” He grinned. He was a catch who deserved to be hooked by someone worthy, someone he could love without all these flaws I brought into a relationship.
I swallowed the knot in my throat. “Don’t get me wrong, I love all of it. It’s hot. But it’s an imbalance. I have an apartment with four pieces of furniture, a mountain of student loan debt, no way to pay it, no friends, and my brother is…” I rolled my eyes. “He tried to kill me, tried to get me killed. I don’t bring a lot to a relationship.”
“Right.” He searched my gaze when I stopped flicking my eyes around and focused on him, then he moved closer and held my shoulders. “I’m completely yours. Since I first saw you in the ER, and the more I get to know you, the more you own every piece of me. You could ask me for anything, and I’ll move mountains, stop the ocean from waving, whatever to make sure you get it. And I’m terrified because there’s nothing I can do to stop it.” His finger stroked the side of