only letting you stay with her because the club asked her. You’re not friends.”
I wanted her to hate me. It would be so much easier that way.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked.
“It’s just me,” I said. “Do you get that? Colt. Kellan. Brax. Joker. E.J. Hell, even Sticks. They’re all inside now. Their bail hearing is set for tomorrow, but they’re not getting out. The rumor is the judge will deny bond. The club is blown up. It’s on my shoulders to keep it all together.”
“I know that,” she said, putting a soft hand on my arm. I went stiff. “Torch, that’s why you need me. You know you do. Everyone else does too. They told me you’re different since I came here. Well, so am I. If you think you’re doing me some favor by pushing me away and shutting me out, you’re not. So you can quit trying. I’m not going anywhere.”
Rage poured through me. I shut my eyes and saw fire. It burned through my shirt, licked at my skin. Pain seared my flesh then faded until I felt nothing.
I turned to her. Sydney looked so small, so filled with pain of her own. Pain I caused. But she would heal.
“I can’t have you here anymore. I’m not asking. Lincolnshire is my town. The club’s town. And you’re not welcome in it anymore. Go back to your daddy. I’ll buy you a plane ticket. I expect your ass to be gone.”
She took another step back, shaking her head. “Don’t. Just stop. I’m not leaving, Torch.”
“Yes, you are. I didn’t come out here to ask you. I came out here to tell you.”
“You can’t do this without me!” she shouted. “I know you. Amy, Nicole, Colt. They all know you. And they know you do better with me around than you do without. I’m in this with you. I’m telling you you don’t get to push me away.”
“You don’t know who the fuck I am!” I shouted. The monster reared his ugly head. His chains fell away.
I grabbed Sydney by the shoulders and shook her hard. Once. She let out a strangled cry that tore through me.
Even then. Even there. I wanted her. Fuck. I was rock hard. There was no one around. I could drive her to her knees. She would take me in her mouth. I could feel her heat even from here. She was mine. Her body. Her soul. I envisioned bending her over the bridge railing, sliding her jeans down, and claiming her. I didn’t give a fuck if someone drove by. Let them see what we were. Let them see who she belonged to.
I let her go.
“You don’t know shit about me, Sydney,” I said, my voice a low, flat monotone.
“So tell me,” she challenged me, her own voice ragged. “Tell me what you think I can’t handle. Then I’ll tell you it doesn’t matter. I know what you want. You think I don’t see it in your eyes? You think I don’t feel it just as deeply as you do?”
She came to me. She laced her hands through my hair, practically tearing it out by the root. God. I wanted her to. I wanted her to bring me pain that matched what I felt on the inside.
“I would let you,” she said. “God help me. God help us both. But I would let you fuck me right here. I want you that much too. I was built for you. I know it. But you were built for me too, Torch.”
So close. So hot. Need poured through me. I knew it was the only thing that would keep the monster at bay. So it was the thing I had to kill.
I pushed her away from me. My vision clouded, turning almost white. The scars on my back tightened and burned.
“It’s over,” I said. “I don’t need you anymore.”
“Torch …” She tried to come toward me.
“Torch,” I repeated. “You don’t even know my fucking name. You can’t handle what I really am.”
“So tell me!” she shouted.
“I’m a killer,” I said.
“What are you talking about? You said …”
“You asked me if I’d ever killed for the club. You never asked me if I killed at all.”
Her eyes filled with tears.
“Do you know where I was before I came back to this club?”
“I don’t care,” she whispered.
“You should care. I was incarcerated. From the time I was twelve years old, I was in and out of youth detention. When I was fifteen, I went to