Yep! she said. Then she hung up and tossed the phone onto the passenger seat. She didn’t want to give him an opportunity to change his mind. She wished she could knock down all the cellular towers and stop the world to ensure she would see him.
At that point it had been three weeks since their first time at the hotel. She checked her face in the mirror as she drove and kept glancing at her phone on the opposite seat.
God, please don’t let him cancel, she kept repeating.
She was certain her praying worked because when she pulled in she saw that his car was already there.
They got out of their cars and greeted each other awkwardly. He was bundled up in many layers. Jeans and two sweatshirts, one on top of the other, and a sort of scarf around his head. She was cold but thrilled to see him. He focused his eyes on her in a way that made her ecstatic and terrified at once. There was no way of knowing what he was thinking.
I am telling you, Lina says to the women later, there is something about the way this man stares.
They walked around to the back of her truck and she pulled the box of toys to the edge of the trunk. Tickle Me Elmo. Talking Dora. A bright green-and-white plastic lawn mower.
There is a formula, Lina believes, for when men see women they don’t want to see. It has to do with the level of a woman’s doggedness syncing with a married man’s self-loathing. Perhaps he had not paid a bill on time that month and his wife looked at him like he would never measure up to even her lowest expectations.
Even though they have already had sex at the hotel, the first time at the river Lina felt she was losing her virginity all over again. From start to finish.
They stood for a while between their trucks. He was quiet as always and staring ahead. After what felt like hours, she moved toward him and took his face in her hands. She shook her head and said, Gosh you’re such a handsome man. Damn it.
She pulled his face to hers and kissed him. She knew that if she didn’t, he never would. He smiled a little and walked over to the driver’s side of her truck. Without looking, he leaned his big arm into the open window and turned off her dome lights. Then he came back and pushed Lina up against the back of her truck. She grabbed the box of toys in the trunk and was about to toss them to make room for their bodies. Tickle Me Elmo fell out of the box, giggling. She swept it onto the ground at their feet. She wanted to clear the whole world out of the goddamn way.
Hey, Kid, calm down a minute. Don’t just go throwin’ the toys.
It was the first time Aidan had spoken. He carefully placed the toys back in the box and put it into the trunk.
Chastened, she climbed over to the second row of seats. He followed and sat down beside her. Then she straddled him.
Is this all about sex? she asked, looking into his eyes.
Aidan didn’t say a word.
Because it is not for me. I only just wanna be with you.
He nodded.
She undid the button of his jeans and he lifted his rear up and off the seat to help her shimmy his pants down. He wore boxer briefs and his penis was hard. The top of it was coming out of the waistband of the briefs.
We shouldn’t, Kid.
Hearing her nickname come out of his mouth made her so happy. Then she realized he was trying to back down again. She noticed that his erection had begun to soften. She was cold because the ignition was off and she didn’t know how to keep the heat on but the lights out and she didn’t want to ask Aidan because she didn’t want to break the mood. Whatever mood was left.
Kid?
She pretended not to hear and took off her pants and her underwear and pulled his briefs down around his ankles so that it looked like he was using a toilet. She knelt down before his erection and put her lips to the head. She gave it soft, flicking kisses. He got hard again quickly. She loved that it was out of his control—her rapport with his penis. He had barely touched her at all