That I’ve rarely been able to talk to my friends because of the time difference.
That I wish I saw him more.
All I can hear are Queen Veronica’s words she shared with me during tea. That it’s my job to continue the illusion, to not let the world see that being near the crown is a burden.
And that means not letting Anderson see being close to him has become a burden.
“I’m just a little nervous about today. That’s all.”
He furrows his brow, glancing down at his calendar on the tablet in front of him. “Is it something for the wedding? Or a training exercise?”
My heart sinks, and I lean into him. “I told you last week.” I keep my voice low. “I have my first appointment with the palace OB/GYN. Even made sure it was on your agenda.” I look from him to Lieutenant Colonel Bridge, who sits on the other side of him, as he always does during breakfast in order to review his schedule. Most days, this is the only time I get with Anderson, yet I still must share it with his private secretary.
Am I always going to have to share him?
“Shite.” He squeezes his eyes shut.
I pull my hand from his, my shoulders slumping. I don’t even have to ask. He either forgot, or my appointment never made it onto his calendar for today.
Possibly both.
“I’m sorry, Nora. I guess I…lost track of days or something.”
I swallow down the disappointment bubbling inside me and force a smile, despite being on the brink of tears. It’s utterly ridiculous for me to be upset over this. It’s only a doctor’s appointment.
But after suffering a pregnancy loss as traumatic as I did, I’m constantly worried I’ll lose this one, too. Constantly scared of sitting in that exam room all alone. What if the doctor tells me there’s no heartbeat?
I went through that alone once.
I don’t want to go through it again.
“It’s okay. There will be more appointments,” I say, although my voice lacks any conviction.
Hopefully there will be more. But will he be at those? Or will they also be conveniently left off his schedule?
Anderson shifts his gaze from me, pinning Lieutenant Colonel Bridge with a glare. “Why isn’t Ms. Tremblay’s appointment on my agenda?”
“It was,” he begins. “Unfortunately, a few things came up last minute that were deemed a higher priority.”
I laugh under my breath. “Of course they did.”
I have no doubt his grandmother played a role in this. Maybe I’m being paranoid. But after she all but bribed me to walk away, what am I supposed to believe?
“What do you mean by that?” Anderson asks.
“Nothing.” I grab my napkin, dabbing at my mouth before pushing back from the table and standing.
Anderson and Bridge jump to their feet, their own etiquette training kicking in like it’s second nature.
“I have a busy day, so I should get to the palace. Am I to assume I won’t be seeing you at my doctor appointment?”
“I’ll be there,” Anderson says without a moment’s hesitation.
“But, sir,” Bridge interjects, “your schedule is quite packed today. I don’t see how we can add anything else without canceling something. And, as I mentioned, everything is deemed a high priority.”
“I understand that,” Anderson responds in an authoritative tone. “But my priority is and always will be Ms. Tremblay. Her doctor appointments are the highest priority. Even above anything to do with this referendum.” He turns back toward me, grabbing my hand. “I’ll be there.”
“Don’t make any promises you have no intention of fulfilling, Anders. I’d rather go in knowing you won’t be there than be disappointed later.”
“If I tell you I’ll be there, I’ll be there.” He loops an arm around my waist, pulling me against him.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Bridge lower his head and walk away, giving us some privacy, as I expected. After all, overt displays of affection between royalty are severely frowned upon.
“Better yet, I’ll cancel all my engagements afterward.” He nuzzles my neck, peppering light kisses along my skin. “We’ll have a nice, romantic dinner in the gardens. Then a night to do anything we want.”
I close my eyes and melt into him. In a heartbeat, all the unease that’s consumed me since I woke up this morning slowly vanishes. This is exactly what I’ve needed. To not feel so alone. To be reminded why I gave up my old life. Now I have something else to look forward to instead of spending all day worrying about my appointment.
“How does